從心理學角度聊聊「自戀」這件事
Govern your thoughts when alone, and your tongue when in company.
閑談勿論人非，靜坐常思己過。
Way before the first selfie, the ancient Greeks and Romans had a myth about someone a little too obsessed with his own image.
自拍誕生前，古希臘羅馬流傳著一個神話故事，故事是關於一個有點過於著迷於自己模樣的人。
In one telling, Narcissus was a handsome guy wandering the world in search of someone to love.
有一種說法是，那西瑟斯是一個英俊的小夥子， 他為了尋找自己的愛人而環遊世界。
After rejecting a nymph named Echo, he caught a glimpse of his own reflection in a river, and fell in love with it.
在拒絕了森林女神艾寇的示愛之後，他瞥見了自己在河裡的倒影，進而愛上了它。
Unable to tear himself away, Narcissus drowned.
那希瑟斯無法自拔地深陷於自己的美貌，最終溺死在河裡。
A flower marked the spot of where he died, and we call that flower the Narcissus.
一朵花在他死去的地方冒了出來，那朵花因此得名"那西瑟斯"（水仙花）。
The myth captures the basic idea of narcissism, elevated and sometimes detrimental self-involvement.
這個神話體現了自戀的核心概念，自戀是被高估且有時有害的自我陶醉。
But it"s not just a personality type that shows up in advice columns. It"s actually a set of traits classified and studied by psychologists.
但這不只是一種會出現在諮詢專欄里的個性，而是心理學家分類及研究的一組的特質。
The psychological definition of narcissism is an inflated, grandiose self-image
自戀在心理學上的定義是一種誇大和膨脹的自我形象。
To varying degrees, narcissists think they"re better looking, smarter, and more important than other people, and that they deserve special treatment.
在不同程度上，自戀者可能認為他們長得比較好看，比較聰明，而且比別人更重要，他們認為自己值得得到特殊的待遇。
Psychologists recognize two forms of narcissism as a personality trait: grandiose and vulnerable narcissism.
心理學家認定兩種形式的自戀人格特質：浮誇型自戀和脆弱型自戀。
There"s also narcissistic personality disorder, a more extreme form, which we"ll return to shortly.
另外還有所謂的自戀型人格障礙，它是一種更加極端的形式， 我們待會再回到談談這個人格障礙。
Grandiose narcissism is the most familiar kind, characterized by extroversion, dominance, and attention seeking.
浮誇型自戀最常見，它的特點是外向、強勢和渴望關注。
Grandiose narcissists pursue attention and power, sometimes as politicians, celebrities, or cultural leaders.
浮誇型自戀的人追求關注和權力，有時候是政客、名人或者文化領袖。
Of course, not everyone who pursues these positions of power is narcissistic.
當然，不是每個追求這些權力地位的人都自戀。
Many do it for very positive reasons, like reaching their full potential, or helping make people"s lives better.
很多人是出於非常正面的理由，比如說，為了施展自己全部的才能，或者是為了幫助人們生活得更好。
But narcissistic individuals seek power for the status and attention that goes with it.
但是自戀的人尋求權力，是為了伴隨而來的的地位與矚目。
Meanwhile, vulnerable narcissists can be quiet and reserved.
然而，脆弱型的自戀者卻是文靜且矜持的。
They have a strong sense of entitlement, but are easily threatened or slighted.
他們對權利非常敏感，但是往往容易覺得受到威脅和輕視。
In either case, the dark side of narcissism shows up over the long term.
不管哪一種案例，自戀的陰暗面往往會經過很長一段時間之後才顯現出來。
Narcissists tend to act selfishly, so narcissistic leaders may make risky or unethical decisions, and narcissistic partners may be dishonest or unfaithful.
自戀者容易有自私的舉動，所以，自戀的領導人可能會做有風險且不道德的決策，自戀的伴侶可能會不誠實或不忠誠。
When their rosy view of themselves is challenged, they can become resentful and aggressive.
當他們自我感覺良好的幻覺被挑戰的時候，他們可能會變得憤憤不平和具有攻擊性。
It"s like a disease where the sufferers feel pretty good, but the people around them suffer.
它就象是一種病，患者自我感覺良好，但是身邊的其他人可都遭殃了。
Taken to the extreme, this behavior is classified as a psychological disorder called narcissistic personality disorder.
回到前面提到的那個極端的自戀形式，這種行為被界定為一種心理障礙，即"自戀型人格障礙"。
It affects one to two percent of the population, more commonly men.
人口中1%－2%的人 會有這種障礙，而且多為男性。
It is also a diagnosis reserved for adults.
它是一種僅針對成年人進行診斷的病症。
Young people, especially children, can be very self-centered, but this might just be a normal part of development.
因為年輕人，尤其是小孩， 可能非常自我中心，但這可能只是成長過程中出現的正常現象
The fifth edition of the American Psychiatric Association"s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual describes several traits associated with narcissistic personality disorder.
美國精神病學會第五版的 《精神疾病診斷與統計手冊》中描述了自戀型人格障礙的多種表現。
They include a grandiose view of oneself, problems with empathy, a sense of entitlement, and a need for admiration or attention.
其中包括自視甚高、難有同理心、具特權意識和需要被崇拜和關注。
What makes these traits a true personality disorder is that they take over people"s lives and cause significant problems.
這些特質成為真正的人格障礙的原因，是他們主導別人的生活並且造成嚴重的麻煩。
Imagine that instead of caring for your spouse or children, you used them as a source of attention or admiration.
試想，若你不去關心愛護你的伴侶和孩子，反而利用他們作為一種獲取關注或崇拜的來源。
Or imagine that instead of seeking constructive feedback about your performance, you instead told everyone who tried to help you that they were wrong.
或是對於試圖幫助你的人，你不去尋求有建設性的反饋，反而指責他們說的話都是是錯的。
So what causes narcissism?
那麼，是什麼導致了自戀呢？
Twin studies show a strong genetic component, although we don"t know which genes are involved. But environment matters, too.
根據雙生子研究， 自戀和基因有關，雖然我們還無法知道，究竟是些什麼基因參與其中，不過，外在環境的影響是不容忽視的。
Parents who put their child on a pedestal can foster grandiose narcissism.
如果父母把孩子捧得很高，可能助長他們變成浮誇型自戀者。
And cold, controlling parents can contribute to vulnerable narcissism.
而冷酷、控制欲強的父母可能養出脆弱型的自戀小孩。
Narcissism also seems to be higher in cultures that value individuality and self-promotion.
自戀似乎也在重視個人主義和自我鼓吹的文化中更常見。
In the United States, for example, narcissism as a personality trait has been rising since the 1970s, when the communal focus of the 60s gave way to the self-esteem movement and a rise in materialism.
以美國為例，從1970年代以來， 自戀人格特徵不斷在增加中，1960年代對於公共事務的關切被自尊主義運動取代了，也促成了物質主義的盛行。
More recently, social media has multiplied the possibilities for self-promotion, though it"s worth noting that there"s no clear evidence that social media causes narcissism.
最近，社交媒體迅速增加自我鼓吹地可能性。值得注意的是，目前並沒有明確地證據顯示社交媒體導致了自戀。
Rather, it provides narcissists a means to seek social status and attention.
應該說，它為自戀者提供了一種去尋求社會地位和關注的管道。
So can narcissists improve on those negative traits?
那麼，自戀者可不可能修正這些缺點呢？
Yes!
可以！
Anything that promotes honest reflection on their own behavior and caring for others, like psychotherapy or practicing compassion towards others, can be helpful.
任何可以幫助他們客觀審視自己行為和關愛他人的事情，像心理療法或者增強同情心的訓練， 都是有益的。
The difficulty is it can be challenging for people with narcissistic personality disorder to keep working at self-betterment.
真正的挑戰是,對那些自戀型人格障礙的人來說,努力不懈地自我完善太困難了。
For a narcissist, self-reflection is hard from an unflattering angle.
對於一個自戀者而言， 從不討喜的角度進行自我反省是困難的。
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