關羽之死：一個從來沒被「劇透」過的老外感到憤怒

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一個老外在沒有被劇透的情況下看了《三國演義》，最愛關羽。他認為關羽無所不能，戰無不勝，就連最後被抓的時候，他都認為關羽可以置之死地而後生，卻沒想到他最後竟然真的死了……老外接受不了，心靈受到很大創傷，然後寫了篇讀後感……

去年微博上有人分享過一篇老外看三國的讀後感：

當時甚至有幾家媒體還為此整理了評論合集，但幾乎沒看見中英對照的翻譯。我本人實在太喜歡這篇讀後感了，現在提供一個中英對照版，讓大家完整感受下這個老外的完整心路歷程：

The Death of Greatness關羽之死

By Brian Lanning

「Then Sun Ch』uan asked Lü Meng, saying, 『If he fly to a distance, how can he be captured?』 」

孫權問呂蒙道，「如果他能飛，怎麼可能被抓住？」

『The divination exactly fits in with my schemes,』 replied he, 『and though Kuan had wings to soar to the skies he would not escape my net.』」

「預言正合我的計策」，他答道，「就算關羽身如插翅能飛衝天，他也逃不脫我的天羅地網」

I』m reading in my living room on a comfortable rocking chair with my feet on a little footrest. I can smell the pages of the historical novel Romance of the Three Kingdoms; they have that nice 「old book」 smell like dried-out leaves in autumn. I』m reading about a chaotic time in China, and numerous characters and events, but I can find myself only thinking about Kuan Yu, the man that Sun Ch』uan and Lü Meng are plotting against. The great and invincible Kuan Yu, with his hundred-pound halberd and his long flowing beard, giving him the nick-name 「Kuan Yu of the beard.」 This is the end of the chapter, so I close the book and put it on the ledge next to me. I slouch down in my rocking chair, knowing full well that these two imps could never defeat the great Kuan Yu.

我坐在起居室舒服的搖椅上，腳搭在擱凳，悠閑的讀著。我能嗅到這本歷史小說《三國演義》的紙頁，有一種像秋後干透了的樹葉的味道，正是那種美妙的「舊書」的氣味。我讀的是一本描述古代中國混亂時期的小說，有大量的角色和史事。但我只關注關羽，現在孫權呂蒙正要設計謀害的這個人。

After slouching comfortably for a minute or two I get up to walk around, and take some pacing steps around my living room. The warm carpet feels nice and relaxing on my socked-feet. I』m not pacing in anxiety or anything, just getting the blood flowing again. I』ve been in that chair reading for about an hour now and just felt like moving. I can hear the soothing sounds of the rain hitting the roof. I feel secure in this room. The room has this nice warm lighting, where it』s not too bright, nor too dark; that』s why I always do my reading in this room. 「Maybe,」 I think, 「I』ll just read another chapter before going to bed.」 I stretch my chest, and feel a nice, light pulling in the front of my shoulders.

偉大的無敵的關羽，他有一把幾百磅重的長刀和修長的鬍鬚，人稱「美髯公」。這章就要結束了，所以我合上書頁，放到旁邊的窗檯之上。我癱在搖椅內，非常確信這兩個小鬼絕不可能打敗無敵的關羽。 在搖椅里躺了一兩分鐘，我站起來在起居室里溜達起來。暖和的地毯很軟和，放鬆了我的腳。我並沒有焦慮或者別的什麼感覺，只是想讓雙腳的血液流通一點。我已經坐在那讀了大約一個小時了，現在就是想動一動。我能聽見雨滴落在屋頂，在這屋裡，我覺得安心。燈光是宜人的暖色，既不太亮也不太暗，所以我總是在這兒讀書。「也許，」 我想，「上床前我再讀另一章吧。」我伸展了我的胸脯，覺得肩膀舒服了一點。

I return to the chair and ease into it, putting my feet back on the little footrest. I pick the book back up from the ledge, open it up and smell that sweet autumn fragrance emanating and lingering. 「When Kuan Yu mustered his fighting men in the city, he had but three hundred, all told.」 I let out a little chuckle. These would seem like dire straits to anyone who was not familiar with the hardships that the great Kuan Yu has overcome in his lifetime. This is the man that road out of a kingdom alone and had to slay six officers in order to escape. This is the man that knowingly went to a banquet designed to assassinate him, and walked out unscathed holding the host in the air. His enemies, the country of Wu, is led by Sun Ch』uan and his adviser Lü Meng. They have devised a ploy to make Kuan Yu』s entire troop defect to Wu.

我回到搖椅躺了進去，腳擱在擱凳上。拿起窗台上的書，打開書頁又聞到那種美妙的秋之氣息散發出來纏綿在我的周遭。「當關羽檢閱了城中他的軍士時，他總共只剩三百名了。」我不禁笑了。關羽一生中曾克服過那麼多艱難險阻，對那些不熟悉這一點的人來說，這點人實在太窘迫了。這個男人曾過五關斬六將，這個男人曾單刀赴會。他的敵對方，吳國由孫權和他的謀士呂蒙領導。他們已經設計要關羽的軍隊叛逃到吳國去。

Their plans are working out fine for them, but I』m still comfortable in my chair knowing that Kuan Yu is worth a thousand soldiers. However, to hold a city you』ll need more men and resources than they have. They decide to retreat by a certain path leading out of the castle. 「Wang Fu opposed it, pointing out that they would surely fall into an ambush. The main road would be safer. 『There may be an ambush, but do I fear that?』 said the old warrior. Orders were given to be ready to march.」 I lift my eyes from the page and smile. You have to love a great hero that knows that he』s a great hero.

他們的謀划進展得很順利，但我舒服而自信的坐在椅子上，因為我知道關羽以一敵千。然而守住一個城池，你需要更多的人和資源。他們決定從一條離開城堡的小道撤退。王福反對這個計劃，他指出從這條小道撤退一定會陷入埋伏。大路更加安全。「也許有埋伏，但我會怕？」衰老的武士說道。命令傳了下去，軍士們準備行軍。我兩眼離開了書頁，笑了起來。這個英雄知道自己是個偉大的英雄，你不得不愛上他。

After a couple of laughs I continue my reading, and guess what, they』ve gotten ambushed. 「Soon appeared a large force with Chu Jan at their head. He came dashing forward, and summoned the small party to surrender if they would save their lives. But Kuan Yu whipped his steed to a gallop and bore down on the leader with anger in his eyes. Then Chu Jan ran away.」 「Smart man,」 I think to myself. Another small fit of laughter escapes me. What is Wu thinking? You can』t capture or kill the great Kuan Yu, you can only hope that you』re not the one in his path. Lifting my eyes from the pages, I look at the light bulbs.

笑了幾聲，我繼續閱讀，猜想他們已經中了埋伏。果然，朱然率領了一大隊伏兵衝到陣前，他要勸降關羽，說可以饒了士兵們的性命。但關羽怒火中燒，打馬飛奔沖向這名吳國將軍。朱然便跑了。「聰明人，」我一邊想一邊笑出了聲。吳國人在想什麼？你不可能抓住或殺掉偉大的關羽，你最好希望自己不是擋在他路上的那個人。雙目離開書頁，我瞄了一眼燈泡。

I love doing this in this room, because these light-bulbs don』t give me that 「sun-spot」 in the middle of my vision, so I just get the warm feelings that brightness give. I roll my shoulder in its socket just to stretch it out a little bit. I shift some in my seat because my legs are getting a little numb. Returning my eyes to the page, I』m trying to see if I was right about the lack of 「sun-spot.」 Yep, I』m right, no 「sun-spot.」

我喜歡在這個房間讀書，這個燈泡光線柔和不刺眼，不會讓人眼產生「黑視」。我晃了晃肩膀伸展開來。我的腿有點僵硬，在座椅上挪了挪。眼睛回到書頁上看看是否我對黑視的想法是對的。對，我說對了，並沒有什麼黑視。

Another ambush by another captain, and another captain flees from Kuan Yu. I start shaking my head thinking about the stupid persistence of Wu generals. Seriously, why would you engage someone in battle if you were just going to run away? 「It doesn』t matter,」 I say to myself, 「just read.」 「Presently the small party stumbled into another ambush, and the men thrust forth hooks and threw ropes. Entangled in these, Kuan Yu』s horse fell, and Kuan Yu reeled out of the saddle.」 「This can』t be good,」 is frantically repeating through my head. 「In a moment he was a prisoner.」

另一個裨將率領的另一隊伏兵，伏兵又一次的從關羽面前逃走。我開始對吳國將領的治軍無方搖了搖頭。認真地說，你為什麼在一場註定要逃走的戰鬥中集結軍隊呢？沒關係，我對自己說，接著讀。目前，這一小兵軍士又陷入了另一個埋伏，伏兵們扔出了爪鉤和繩套，撂倒了關羽的坐騎。關羽從馬鞍中蹣跚著站了起來，這不好了，這個念頭在我腦子中瘋狂地重複，一時間，他已被抓住成了一個囚犯。

But at least he』s still alive. As long as the great Kuan Yu is alive, there is nothing to fear. I』ve noticed that my leg is twitching, and that nice comfortable warmth has turned into humid heat. I feel itchy all over. I start scratching my ears; they』re itching the worst. I pull my hat off and rub my hair, pulling the hat back over my head very tightly. The air is way too sticky, and I can』t seem to get a breath of fresh air. I cover my mouth with my left fist, and cough a little bit.

但至少他還活著。只要偉大的關羽活著，就沒什麼好怕的。我注意到我的雙腿有點顫抖，那種舒服的暖洋洋也變成了一種難受的濕熱。我覺得有點癢，我抓了抓耳朵，耳朵是最癢的地方。我摘下了帽子，抓了抓頭皮，又戴上了帽子。空氣有點沉重，我幾乎透不過氣來，我用左拳捂住了嘴巴，清了清嗓子。

Sitting up straight in the chair and staring fiercely at the pages I start reading quickly. The generals of Wu have brought Kuan Yu before Sun Ch』uan. Sun Ch』uan asks him to switch sides to Wu. 「But Kuan Yu only answered roughly, 『You green-eyed boy! You red-bearded rat!』」 I』m thinking 「Ahhh… this is where the great Kuan Yu is going to slaughter everybody in the room, whether he』s bound or not!」 One of Sun Ch』uan』s generals says that evil will come if they spare Kuan Yu. 「Sun Ch』uan reflected for some time. 『You are right,』 said he presently, and gave the order for execution.」 「This can』t be!」 My mind is frantic; they』ve just executed the invincible Kuan Yu. His death was at the hands of men that combined couldn』t exist as the great Kuan Yu』s pinkie-finger.

我坐直了身子，眼睛死死的盯住頁面，我開始速讀。吳國的將軍們抓住了關羽，把他帶到孫權的面前，孫權勸他投降。但關羽只是粗暴的回答他，「你這個綠眼頑童，你這個紅鬍子鼠輩」，我想到，「啊，在這裡關羽要幹掉所有人了，不管他是被捆著還是沒有。」吳國的一名將軍說如果釋放關羽就會闖大禍。孫權考慮了一會，「你是對的，」孫權說道，並下了處刑的命令。「這不可能！」我的大腦開始暴走，他們要處死無敵的關羽了！這群人加起來也傷不了關羽一根手指頭，關羽居然要死在這些人手裡！

I stand up in haste, throwing the book to the floor, shove my feet into my shoes without tying them, and then walk out into the rain. It』s pitch-dark outside. It』s cold. I look up and try to see the moon. There is no moon. There aren』t even any stars out tonight, just the rain. I』m looking around for some form of celestial light, but all that I can see is one flickering light bulb. How is this one light bulb going to brighten the darkness?

我猛地站了起來，把書扔到地上，試都沒試地把腳塞進了鞋子，衝進了外面的大雨中。外面是一片黑黢黢的，冷，我抬起頭想看月亮，看不見，今晚外面連一顆星星都沒有，只有雨。我想看看天空中有沒有什麼光亮。什麼都沒有，只有屋裡的燈光一閃一閃。這點光怎麼能照亮這麼大的黑暗！

I』m shivering, I』m soaked, and I need a cigarette. I pull my pack out of my pocket and grab one. It』s been out of the box for like two-goddamn-seconds and it』s already wet. I』m looking down as I』m lighting it, cupping my hand around the lighter so that the wind and the rain don』t extinguish it. I can see the wet blacktop. The water passing over it is the blackest thing that I』ve ever seen. To me it seems like emptiness in motion, this black-liquid coming from nowhere, heading nowhere, and washing away whatever it can find.

我開始發抖，我渾身濕透了，我需要一支煙。我掏出煙盒，抓住了一根。拿出來時只有該死的兩秒鐘，但已經濕了。我要點燃它，用手遮住打火機，這樣風就吹不滅。我能看見濕漉漉的柏油路面，這是我看過的最黑的東西了。它像是我情緒里的一片空虛，這種黑色的流質無處而來，無處可去，也無法洗去。

I find that my imagination has been washed away. I』m trying to think. About Kuan Yu, about my life, about anything. Nothing is coming to mind. There is a black void where all of my fancies and aspirations of greatness used to fill. This is uncomfortable. For the past three-weeks my imagination has been running loose. Everything I』ve thought about or thought-up has been wild and epic; I was plotting world-domination schemes and ways to restore the chaotic order of great Kuan Yu』s time.

我發現我的想像力都被沖刷乾淨了，我試著思考。思考關羽，思考我的人生，什麼都行，但什麼都想不出來，一片空白。過去我腦子中的奇思妙想，對偉大人物的崇敬都消失了。這一點都不愉快，過去三周，我的想像力都漫散開了，我想的都是些狂野的史詩般的東西，我甚至制定統治世界的計劃和終結他們那個時代的混亂的方法。

Now it feels like there is no point to having great fantasies, or to become great at all. The greatest hero this world has ever known met an ignoble end at the hands of inferior men. Reading about this man』s life had given me hope that greatness would resound through history. He』s in books, movies, and video games; but none of it matters. His life was washed away, leaving me feeling empty. The cigarette is done, the end is still glowing but there』s not much more to smoke. I drop it on the wet blacktop and hear the hiss of the embers being extinguished. The cigarette-butt starts washing away. There is a poem in this novel that keeps resounding in my head. Normally, I』d be able to visualize what it says, but now I can only remember the words and can』t see the dragon or the phoenix.

但現在，奇思妙想和成為偉人對我來說都無關緊要了。這個世界上已知的最偉大的戰士屈辱的死在一群挫逼手中了。閱讀這個偉大男人的人生經歷曾給我一種希望：英雄們的事迹會穿越時空，在歷史中長久的迴響。他存在於書籍中，存在於電影中，存在於電腦遊戲中，但都不重要了。他的事迹逐漸褪色，只讓我感到迷惘。煙已經熄滅了，末端還亮著但也沒什麼好吸的了。我把煙蒂扔到柏油路面上，聽著餘燼被澆熄的絲絲聲，然後煙蒂被沖走了。這部小說里有一首詩一直迴旋在我腦海中，我曾經能想像詩的意象，但現在只能記起詞句，想像不出來龍或者鳳凰了。

「The dragon in a puddle is the sport of shrimps, the phoenix in a cage is mocked of small birds.」

「龍落泥淖遭蝦戲，鳳入牢籠被雀奚。」

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