家 《我的前半生》—婚姻的修羅場沒有贏家

家

婚姻的修羅場

財富 ? 生活? 家

最近《我的前半生》大火，又一次引起了全民大討論，參與度之高，討論內容之廣都前所未有。先分享劇中人的金句供大家回味一下。

似乎在劇中每個人都有自己對愛的渴望和對婚姻的理解？而身處現代社會的人有沒有去正視婚姻的本質，又如何面對出軌邊緣的婚姻，本劇最大的看點就集中在出軌這個話題上。

人為什麼會出軌？婚姻中遇到了婚外情，該怎麼辦？

我們分享一期TED演講，聽聽情感專家是如何分析出軌這一現象的。（畢竟除了吃瓜，我們都是熱愛學習的寶寶……）

下面摘錄專家的一些觀點，供大家參考：

?We have never been more inclined to stray, and not because we have new desires today, but becausewe live in an era where we feel that we are entitled to pursue our desires, because this is the culture where I deserve to be happy.

我們比以前更容易出軌，並不是因為我們有了新的慾望，而是我們現在所處的時代，讓我們覺得有權利去追求自己的慾望，這就是我們的文化特點：我有權快樂。

?And if we used to divorce because we were unhappy, today we divorce because we could be happier.And if divorce carried all the shame, today, choosing to stay when you can leave is the new shame.

如果過去離婚是因為我們不快樂，那現在離婚是因為我們可以更快樂。如果在過去，離婚是不光彩的，那今天，能離婚而不離婚，才是不光彩。

?Contrary to what you may think,affairs are way less about sex, and a lot more about desire: desire for attention, desire to feel special, desire to feel important.

可能與你們想的恰恰相反，婚外情跟性的關係更小，卻與渴望密切相關： 渴望被關注，渴望重拾信心，渴望存在感。

?And the very structure of an affair, the fact that you can never have your lover, keeps you wanting. That in itself is a desire machine, because the incompleteness, the ambiguity, keeps you wanting that which you can t have.

婚外情的顯著特點，就是你無法完全擁有你的情人，這讓你欲罷不能。 就像有一台慾望機器在不斷驅動你，種種不完整，種種曖昧不清，讓你對得不到的東西念念不忘。

?Some affairs are death knells for relationships that were already dying on the vine. But others will jolt us into new possibilities.The fact is, the majority of couples who have experienced affairs stay together. But some of them will merely survive, and others will actually be able to turn a crisis into an opportunity.

有些婚外情只不過是壓死婚姻的最後一根稻草。 而另一些卻讓婚姻有了新的可能。實際上，大部分經歷了婚外情的夫妻最後仍然在一起。只不過有的人精疲力盡，有的人則將危機轉化為機遇。

?Betrayal in a relationship comes in many forms. There are many ways that we betray our partner: with contempt, with neglect, with indifference, with violence. Sexual betrayal is only one way to hurt a partner. In other words,the victim of an affair is not always the victim of the marriage.

一段婚姻中的背叛可以有很多種形式。我們背叛伴侶的方式很多： 藐視，忽視，冷漠，暴力。（肉體）出軌只是傷害伴侶的方式之一。換句話說，婚外情的受害者並不一定是婚姻的受害者。

?I look at affairs from a dual perspective: hurt and betrayal on one side, growth and self-discovery on the other -- what it did to you, and what it meant for me.

我將婚外情一分為二來看：一方面是傷害和背叛，另一方面是成長和自我發現。婚外情給你帶來了什麼，對我又意味著什麼。

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