她在城市養大一匹狼，又送它重返狼群，四年後他們重逢，情形卻讓人心碎｜讀書者說

天下 07-30

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中國日報網雙語新聞

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前些日子上映的《重返狼群》（Return to the Wolves）是一部從拍攝到製作都並不算精良的影片。沒有明星，沒有特效，一些鏡頭還是用手機拍攝的。

但它卻有靈魂，充滿虔誠。長達1700個小時的影片素材，一剪就是6年。

故事的女主人公在草原救了一隻狼崽孤兒，將它帶回城市養大。但後來為守護狼的野性，千辛萬苦送其重返狼群。

影片讓我們看到了人與狼相處的另一種可能性，來聽聽主人公的講述↓↓↓

完成這一切的是一位看似柔弱的女子。是一位80後畫家。初遇小狼崽的時候，她20出頭。

《狼圖騰》（

Wolf Totem

）的作者姜戎稱李微漪為「中國第一狼女」：

（她的經歷）讓我重溫了與小狼一起生活的父子般親密而痛苦的歲月；幫我實現了我青年時代未能實現的放狼夢想；部分補償了我對狼族欠下的罪責；也使我看到中國狼文化後繼有狼。

——姜戎

最重要的是，世界上鮮有由人類撫養長大的狼放回荒野後能在大自然存活的。

這隻創造奇蹟的狼名叫格林（Green），跟格林童話的格林（Grimm）諧音。

「與人們熟知的童話里的反面角色『大灰狼』們不一樣，格林讓我知道狼是多麼的聰明、高貴，甚至充滿人性，」李微漪說。

"I hope my Green will rewrite the bad wolf tales," Li says. "Wolves are smart and dignified, and even humane, as I later found."

身邊的人看完電影，說深深感知到那種對自由精神的召喚。也有很多人看到了跟自己想像中形象截然不同的狼。

這也是李微漪想要說明的一件事，為此，她已經出版了《重返狼群》、《重返狼群第二部》，還有今年出的《讓我陪你重返狼群》。

《重返狼群》和《重返狼群第二部》

《讓我陪你重返狼群》

李微漪出生在四川雅安，很小就到成都學畫，非常獨立。她喜歡動物，收養了不少流浪狗，還經常觀摩學習它們的行為。大學時，學了外語專業。

當我跟她面聊的時候，她還能模仿狼的嚎叫和咕噥。

Though she hasn"t mingled with the wolf for months, she can still mimic its grunts and howls during the interview.

2010年4月，她到若爾蓋草原寫生，聽說了附近出現了一隻狼崽孤兒。故事就從這裡開始。

當時正是狼產仔的時候，它的父親因為偷羊被人打死，而母親也被毒死。它是它們的六隻狼崽中唯一活下來的。

In the highland"s pasture area, she heard about a litter of six wolf cubs whose father was killed and mother fatally poisoned.

李微漪第一次見到它的時候，它正在「裝死」以自保。

她記得它的耳朵無力地貼在頭上，毛又硬又亂，像乾草一樣，它看起來很虛弱。

李微漪心痛地低聲「嚎叫」了出來，那小狼崽居然有反應，跟著聲音掙扎著跌進了她的懷裡。李微漪再也割捨不下它了。

Afraid of being bitten, Li watched the cub from a distance and uttered several howls of lament. The little wolf reacted and leaned into her embrace, and Li savored the connection.

她將它帶回成都的樓頂畫室。不到滿月，格林的野性就出來。李微漪深深地明白，不能將它養成狗，它也不能被當狗養。作為「狼媽媽」的李微漪，也時常被咬傷。

它滿月了，開始有出門走走的機會，但拒絕被上鏈子，甚至為了抗議，在水泥地上拽著鏈子把肚皮都磨破了。

When the cub was a month old, Li started to take Green out for exercise. Green refused to be chained or be dragged by the chain."To protest, he once frayed his belly against the cement ground when I dragged him," she says.

後來他倆達成了共識，出門的時候，假裝套著鏈子，但是格林走前面，格林選擇去哪裡。

格林在李微漪家中

「所以基本上是它在溜我。我一超過他，他就咬斷鏈子跑了。」李微漪說。

李微漪查閱了很多關於養育狼的知識，甚至還寫信給國際組織和黃石公園諮詢細節。

她既是格林的狼媽媽，又扮演了它的狼同伴，陪它玩耍嬉戲，健康成長。她保留它的尖牙利爪，甚至還播放狼嚎的音頻讓它學習。

Li played the role of fellow cubs with Green, playing or competing with him. She got hurt frequently, but kept the wolf』s tusks and claws. She even tried to teach Green wolf howls by playing recordings and demonstrating.

格林漸漸大了，城市生活對它來說日漸危險。李微漪不同意送動物園，「我不願意剝奪屬於他的自由，他屬於充滿競爭和意義的野生世界，」她說。

Growing bigger, Green became a threat in city life. Though sad about separation, Li took Green back to the grassland where he was born in 2010 and made a plan. "I didn"t want to deprive Green of the freedom he deserves. He belongs to the competitive and meaningful wild life," Li says.

她決心將它送回若爾蓋草原，它出生的地方。

李微漪帶著三個月的小狼回到了草原，她先選擇了住在獒場。這也被姜戎視作一步聰明的險招。

剛開始它也被藏獒欺負。小狼在戰鬥中成長了。

李微漪說，她記得《狼圖騰》里說狼天生會利用天氣對付敵人。正值盛夏，格林挖了個南北向的一米深的洞，躲在裡面，在正午又飛身出洞掀翻藏獒的水盆，讓藏獒又熱又被撕咬。

後來，李微漪帶著格林到荒野露營，期待它進一步提升技能直至被狼群最終接受。

她的方法就是，她自己先「野化」，親身示範——她曾經為了教它抓鼠兔，跟它一起長久蹲守在兔坑外。

All along, she acted with the wolf and trained him like a mother wolf.

To teach Green to hunt, Li huddled with Green in front of a rabbit hole for hours.

李微漪教格林抓鼠兔

而格林是有情有義「孝順」的好兒子。李微漪在草原得了肺氣腫，格林會翻出自己的存糧叼給媽媽。每天早上他會到窗前探望，叼回一塊狼山上的石頭表示問候。

格林叼來「存糧」給病中的李微漪

2011年的春天，格林走了。此時的格林已經90厘米高，不算尾巴也快一米長了。雖然不舍，李微漪還是放開了手。她後來幾次回草原尋狼兒子，都沒見它的蹤跡。

From a little cub, Green had grown into a wolf 90 cm tall from the head, and 100 cm long, not counting the tail. Li was reluctant to turn to the next page of her life, without Green. She returned to the grasslands several times afterwards to look for the wolf, but never saw him again.

她從紙片、布片等地方整理她和它在一起整十個月的筆記，寫成書，拍成電影和紀錄片，就是想告訴人們狼在草原生態中的重要性，狼也折射出了人與自然的關係。

更重要的是，狼不可馴化，它們獨立又有自己的品格，有尊嚴，也有「溫情孝順」的一面。

Most important: She"d like to wipe away the common notion that wolves are evil. "Wolves are not dogs, and they"re never pets. They"re untamable, independent and have their own characters," Li says

記錄者·重返狼群（一）片段

跟格林相處的日子讓李微漪內心變得更強大，甚至也改變了她的作畫風格。

「小狼崽都能千方百計地生存和適應下來，我也不能輸給他，」她說。

《中國日報》刊登李微漪和格林的故事後，我們一直有收到讀者的來信。有詢問李微漪畫展的，也有只是轉達問候和感謝的。

一位名叫Bart的先生來信說：

「I was sitting in my hotel room here in Beijing when I read your article about Li Weiyi and Green…As a firm believer in protecting the environment and all that live on our planet, it really pushed my buttons. I am still smiling about it…If possible, I would like to ask two favors. First, please offer my sincere thanks to Ms. Li Weiyi for her absolutely astounding efforts. She is a true classy citizen of China and true citizen of our planet. Next, is her book available in an English version?」

我在北京的酒店房間里閱讀了關於李微漪和格林的文章……我是堅定的環保主義者，這篇文章讓我感慨萬千，我現在還在回味呢……如果可能的話，我想請您轉告對李微漪的感謝，她是真正的中國好公民，也是地球好公民。另外，這本書有英語版么？

故事……還沒有完！

2014年年底，格林主動找到了李微漪，還帶著它的家人孩子。

此前還有這樣一次「烏龍」

。

今天早上我和亦風還在成都。我照常打開電腦準備開始一天的工作，卻突然看到微博中彈出一位讀者的緊急留言：「微漪，我剛從若爾蓋草原旅遊回來，格林已經被抓住了，被人用鐵鏈拴在特警部隊門口賣呢！」

我腦袋裡一陣轟鳴，有那麼一瞬間根本看不清屏幕上的字。格林從小被人撫養長大，他對人沒什麼戒心，自從我們將他放歸草原以後，我日夜懸心他會被人抓住，沒想到長久以來的噩夢終究成真了。我心急火燎地叫上亦風，立刻開車趕回若爾蓋！

——《重返狼群2》

她到了，發現這匹狼不是格林。

那麼李微漪怎麼辨認格林呢？格林的明顯特徵如下：

讓李微漪沒有想到的是，真正再次相見時，格林並沒有興高采烈地向她奔跑過來。李微漪寫道：

格林沒有過來，不但沒有過來，反而退了半步。他抖抖狼鬃，耳朵重新豎直，激烈起伏的胸腔漸漸平息下來，狼眼中的信息轉瞬即逝，取而代之的是困惑、疼痛、糾結……

然後她一直往前，它就一直後退。

李微漪25日的時候在微信里告訴我：

「最後一次近距離看見格林的樣子，眼神滄桑了，那時候他四歲，下面是他的兩個孩子，福仔和小不點，這兩個孩子已經被人弄死了。」

在《重返狼群》的序言里，姜戎這樣說：

我已精讀了四遍《重返狼群》，仍想再讀。這部狼書經常讓我或冷汗淋漓，或熱血沸騰，抑或潸然淚下。最讓我情感衝動和意想不到的是小狼最後成功融入狼群，以及狼女和小狼格林為此目標所表現出的大膽進取，不惜冒生命危險的狼性格。這種膽大妄為、成功概率幾乎等於零的冒險，居然圓滿完成，給予了我精神上空前的震撼……一個中國現代青年女性，能如此敬狼愛狼，能如此深刻理解狼和自由，能有如此自由意志和膽魄，真讓我這頭「老狼」肅然起敬。

他的《狼圖騰》在國內外評價都很高，讓·雅克·阿諾執導的同名電影也值得一看。

亞馬遜讀者John Averyon說該書是一本寶庫（Wolf Totem is a treasure）：

「Wolf Totem is a fascinating story…The writing and translation are excellent, some chapters (like the one introducing Swan Lake) are exquisite. The story is told with passion and anyone with a heart for sensitive cultures and ecology will finish the book with a lasting sadness at the loss of both.」

《狼圖騰》寫了個相當迷人的故事。不管是原著還是翻譯都很精彩，有些章節尤其出彩。

故事的敘述充滿了感染力，每個有一定感悟力的讀者，都會對文中描述這特別的文化和生態的變化而唏噓不已，會感嘆這兩者的消逝。

企鵝出版社出版，葛浩文（Howard Goldblatt）翻譯

中英文對照精彩片段試讀（文字可以滾動哦）：

當陳陣在雪窩裡用單筒望遠鏡鏡頭，套住了一頭大狼的時候，他看到了蒙古草原狼鋼錐一樣的目光。陳陣全身的汗毛又像豪豬的毫刺一般豎了起來，幾乎將襯衫撐離了皮肉。畢利格老人就在他的身邊，陳陣這次已沒有靈魂出竅的感覺，但是，身上的冷汗還是順著豎起的汗毛孔滲了出來。雖然陳陣來到草原已經兩年，可他還是懼怕蒙古草原上的巨狼和狼群。在這遠離營盤的深山，面對這麼大的一群狼，他嘴裡呼出的霜氣都顫抖起來。陳陣和畢利格老人，這會兒手上沒有槍，沒有長刀，沒有套馬杆，甚至連一副馬鐙這樣的鐵傢伙也沒有。他們只有兩根馬棒，萬一狼群嗅出他們的人氣，那他倆可能就要提前天葬了。

As Chen Zhen looked through the telescope from his hiding place in the snow cave, he saw the steely gaze of a Mongolian grassland wolf. The fine hairs on his body rose up like porcupine quills, virtually pulling his shirt away from his skin. Old Man Bilgee was there beside him. This time Chen did not feel as if his soul had been driven out of his body, but sweat oozed from his pores. He had been on the grassland two years but still had not lost his fear of Mongolian wolves, especially in packs. Now he was face to face with a large pack deep in the mountains, far from camp, his misty breath quivering in the air. Neither he nor Bilgee was armed no rifles, no knives, no lasso poles, not even something as simple as a pair of metal stirrups. All they had were two herding clubs, and if the wolves picked up their scent, their sky burial would come early.

陳陣又哆哆嗦嗦地吐出半口氣，才側頭去看老人。畢利格正用另一隻單筒望遠鏡觀察著狼群的包圍圈。老人壓低聲音說：就你這點膽子咋成？跟羊一樣。你們漢人就是從骨子裡怕狼，要不漢人怎麼一到草原就凈打敗仗。老人見陳陣不吱聲，便側頭小聲喝道：這會兒可別嚇慌了神，弄出點動靜來，那可不是鬧著玩的。陳陣點了一下頭，用手抓了一把雪，雪在他的掌心被捏成了一坨冰。

Chen exhaled nervously as he turned to look at the old man, who was watching the wolf encirclement through the other telescope. 「You』re going to need more courage than that,」 Bilgee said softly. 「You』re like a sheep. A fear of wolves is in your Chinese bones. That』s the only explanation for why you people have never won a fight out here.」 Getting no response, he leaned over and whispered, 「Get a grip on yourself. If they spot any movement from us, we』ll be in real trouble.」 Chen nodded and scooped up a handful of snow, which he squeezed into a ball of ice.

側對面的山坡上，大群的黃羊仍在警惕地搶草吃，但似乎還沒有發現狼群的陰謀。狼群包圍線的一端已越來越靠近倆人的雪窩，陳陣一動也不敢動，他感到自己幾乎凍成了一具冰雕……

The herd of Mongolian gazelles was grazing on a nearby slope, unaware of the wolf pack, which was tightening the noose, drawing closer to the men』s snow cave. Not daring to move, Chen felt frozen in place, like an ice sculpture.

這是陳陣在草原上第二次遇到大狼群。此刻，第一次與狼群遭遇的驚悸又顫遍他的全身。

This was Chen』s second encounter with a wolf pack since coming to the grassland. A palpitating fear from his first encounter coursed through his veins.

……

天越來越冷，大約走了一半路程，太陽被凍得瑟瑟顫抖，縮到地平線下面去了。雪面的寒氣升上半空，皮袍的皮板也已凍硬。陳陣晃動胳膊、皮袍肘部和腰部，就會發出嚓嚓的磨擦聲。大青馬全身已披上了一層白白的汗霜，馬踏厚厚積雪，馬步漸漸遲緩。丘陵起伏，一個接著一個，四周是望不到一縷炊煙的蠻荒之地。大青馬仍在小跑著，並不顯出疲態。它跑起來不顛不晃，盡量讓人騎著舒服。陳陣也就鬆開馬嚼子，讓它自己掌握體力、速度和方向。陳陣忽然一陣顫慄，心裡有些莫名的緊張——他怕大青馬迷路，怕變天，怕暴風雪，怕凍死在冰雪荒原上，但就是忘記了害怕狼。

The temperature began to fall, and when he was about halfway home, the sun shivered from the deepening cold before retreating to the horizon and slipping from view. Frigid air from the snowy ground rose up, turning Chen』s leather duster hard and brittle. The hide of his mount was covered with a layer of sweat-frost. Their pace slowed as the snow deepened and little hillocks rose in their path. They were deep in the wilds, far from all signs of habitation. The horse trotted on, straight and smooth, so Chen relaxed the pressure on the bit to let the horse determine the pace and direction, as well as how hard it wanted to work. For no obvious reason, Chen suddenly tensed; he shuddered, becoming fearful that the horse might lose its way, fearful that the weather would turn ugly, fearful of being caught in a snowstorm, and fearful of freezing to death on the glacial grassland. The only thing he forgot to fear was the wolves.

快到一個山谷口，一路上大青馬活躍亂動、四處偵聽的耳朵突然停住了，並且直直地朝向谷口的後方，開始抬頭噴氣，步伐錯亂。陳陣這還是第一次在雪原上單騎走遠道，根本沒意識到前面的危險。大青馬急急地張大鼻孔，瞪大眼睛，自作主張地改變方向，想繞道而走。但陳陣還是不解馬意，他收緊嚼口，撥正馬頭繼續朝前小跑。馬步越來越亂，變成了半走半跑半顛，而蹄下卻蹬踏有力，隨時就可狂奔。陳陣知道在冬季必須愛惜馬力，死死地勒住嚼子，不讓馬奔起來。

Just before they reached a ravine, the horse stopped, pointing toward a spot down the ravine. It tossed its head and snorted, its pace no longer steady. Chen Zhen, who had never before ridden alone deep into the snowy grassland, had no inkling of the danger ahead. But the agitated horse, its nostrils flaring, its eyes wide, turned to head away from what lay in front of them. Its intuition was lost on Chen, who pulled the reins taut to turn the animal』s head and keep it moving forward at a trot. Its gait grew increasingly jerky, an erratic combination of walking, trotting, and jolting, as if the animal might bolt at any moment. Chen pulled back hard on the reins.

大青馬見一連串的提醒警告不起作用，便回頭猛咬陳陣的氈靴。陳陣突然從大青馬恐怖的眼球里看到了隱約的危險。但為時已晚，大青馬哆嗦著走進了陰森山谷喇叭形的開口處。

As if frustrated that its warning signals were not being heeded, the horse turned and nipped at its rider』s felt boot, and at that moment Chen recognized the danger facing them by the fear in the horse』s eyes. But it was too late, for the horse had carried him into the flared opening of a gloomy ravine on trembling legs.

當陳陣猛地轉頭向山谷望去時，他幾乎嚇得栽下馬背。距他不到40米的雪坡上，在晚霞的天光下，竟然出現了一大群金毛燦燦、殺氣騰騰的蒙古狼。全部正面或側頭瞪著他，一片錐子般的目光颼颼飛來，幾乎把他射成了刺蝟。離他最近的正好是幾頭巨狼，大如花豹，足足比他在北京動物園裡見的狼粗一倍、高半倍、長半個身子。此時，十幾條蹲坐在雪地上的大狼呼地一下全部站立起來，長尾統統平翹，像一把把即將出鞘的軍刀，一副弓在弦上、居高臨下、準備撲殺的架勢。狼群中一頭被大狼們簇擁著的白狼王，它的脖子、前胸和腹部大片的灰白毛，發出白金般的光亮，耀眼奪目，射散出一股凶傲的虎狼之威。整個狼群不下三四十頭。後來，陳陣跟畢利格詳細講起狼群當時的陣勢，老人用食指颳了一下額上的冷汗說，狼群八成正在開會，山那邊正好有一群馬，狼王正給手下布置襲擊馬群的計劃呢。幸虧這不是群飢狼，毛色發亮的狼就不是餓狼。

Chen turned to look down the ravine and was so terrified he nearly fell off the horse. There on a snow-covered slope not less than fifty yards away was a pack of golden-hued, murderous-looking Mongolian wolves, all watching him straight on or out of the corners of their eyes, their gazes boring into him like needles. The closest wolves were the biggest, easily the size of leopards and at least twice the size of the wolves he』d seen in the Beijing Zoo, half again as tall and as long, nose to tail. All dozen or so of the larger wolves had been sitting on the snowy ground, but they immediately stood up, their tails stretched out straight, like swords about to be unsheathed, or arrows on a taut bowstring. They were poised to pounce. The alpha male, surrounded by the others, was a gray wolf whose nearly white neck, chest, and abdomen shone like white gold. The pack consisted of thirty or forty animals.

Afterward, when Chen and Bilgee were rehashing the circumstances of the encounter, the old man wiped his sweaty brow with his finger and said, 「They must have been holding a council. The alpha male was likely passing out assignments for an attack on a herd of horses on the other side of the hill. You』d have realized your luck had you known that when their coats shine, they aren』t hungry.」

陳陣在那一瞬其實已經失去任何知覺。他記憶中的最後感覺是頭頂迸出一縷輕微但極其恐怖的聲音，像是口吹足色銀元發出的那種細微振顫的錚錚聲。這一定是他的魂魄被擊出天靈蓋的抨擊聲。陳陣覺得自己的生命曾有過幾十秒鐘的中斷，那一刻他已經變成了一個靈魂出竅的軀殼，一具虛空的肉身遺體。很久以後陳陣回想那次與狼群的遭遇，內心萬分感激畢利格阿爸和他的大青馬。陳陣沒有栽下馬，是因為他騎的不是一般的馬，那是一匹在狼陣中長大、身經百戰的著名獵馬。

In fact, Chen』s mind was wiped clean the moment he spotted them, and the last thing he recalled was a muted but terrifying sound rising up to the top of his head, not unlike the thin whistle you get by blow—ing on the edge of a coin. It must have been the ping his soul made as it tore through his crown on its way out. He felt that his life had stopped for a minute or more. Long afterward, whenever he recalled his encounter with the wolf pack, he silently thanked Papa Bilgee and his dark horse. The only reason he hadn』t fallen off was that the animal had lived its entire life in wolf territory, a battle-tested horse perfectly suited to the hunt.

李微漪7月14日發微博說：「以狼為主的野生動物保護區已獲批，有關部門將嚴查盜獵販賣狼皮狼牙及野生動物製品。」

她想對格林說：

「格林，我想抱抱你。如果有一天，媽媽能夠再次擁抱你，我希望我的呼喚不再強求，你的眼神不再糾結，媽媽希望您和您的孩子們是在我懷裡笑，而不是痛哭哀鳴。」