獨門藝術：用英文優雅的撕出高境界！
撕的最高境界是優雅、淡定！
用英文優雅的撕，是一門藝術活！
1
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
今兒去了動物園，睹物思人，一整天都很想你。
2
I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
想問你幾歲了還這麼傻，但我知道你數不了這麼大數。
3
They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
人都說互補才有吸引力。我希望你能遇到顏值高、智商高、文化高的伴侶。
4
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
作為一個局外人，你對我們人類有何看法?
5
Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.
每次靠近你，我就會極度渴望孤獨。
6
Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
趕緊的，快跟大家炫出你所有的知識。十秒鐘應該夠了。
7
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
我猜你的大腦一定是十成新，從來沒用過。
8
Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
你想讓大家接受真實的你還是想讓大家喜歡你?
9
Are your parents siblings?
你爹媽是親兄妹吧?
10
Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
普通人都是活到老學到老。你只做到了前者。
11
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
你想過沒有，如果你出生時大腦沒缺氧，現在的人生會大不相同?
12
You are dark and handsome. When it's dark, you』re handsome.
你又黑又帥。天越黑的時候你就越帥。
13
How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
你是怎麼到這裡的? 誰打開籠子放你出來的?
14
I bet your mother has a loud bark!
我猜你媽肯定吠聲嘹亮!
15
I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!
我知道你沒看上去那麼傻逼。因為沒人能傻逼成這樣!
16
If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents!
我要是長成你這樣，我肯定告死我爹媽!
17
If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
如果要殺掉所有討厭你的人的話，那就不只是謀殺了；那是種族清洗!
18
If your brain were chocolate, it wouldn't fill an M&M.
如果你的腦仁兒是巧克力做的，那它肯定連一顆M&M豆都裝不滿。
19
She has a nice butter face. Everything looks nice, but her face.
她這臉長得沉魚落雁，閉月羞花。也就是說，誰都不忍直視。
(butter face= but her face指某人後面看著想犯罪，正面看著想倒退。除了臉哪裡都好。)
20
She's got a body that won't quit and a brain that won't start.
她身材從來不減，大腦從來不動。
21
You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
你是進化可以逆行的鮮活證明。
22
The twinkle in his eyes is actually the sun shining between his ears.
他兩眼中閃爍著的，是太陽照進空腦殼的光芒。
23
Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.
美，是膚淺的；但丑，是深入骨髓的。
24
Too bad stupidity isn't painful.
傻逼這病不會疼，真是太可惜了。
25
We do not complain about your shortcomings but about your long stayings.
我們並不介意你的短處，只是怕你跟我們"長處"。
26
I look into your eyes and get the feeling nobody is driving.
你的眼神深處有一種無人駕駛的空曠感。
27
What color is the sky in your world?
你的世界裡，天空是什麼顏色的呢?
28
When God was throwing intelligence down to the Earth, you were holding an umbrella.
上帝向人間播撒智慧時，你打了傘。
29
When I look into your eyes, I see the back of your head.
當我盯著你雙眼時，我能看到你後腦勺。
30
Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside.
你試試吃點化妝品吧，沒準能增加點內在美。
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