美JRs預測5年後的NBA：科比會去當助教；哈登剃掉鬍子，老詹選中小詹

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美JRs預測5年後的NBA：科比會去當助教；哈登剃掉鬍子，老詹選中小詹

[r/NBA Time Capsule] Make an interesting prediction about the NBA 5 years from now so that people will link back to this thread and laugh at us.

[時間膠囊]為五年後NBA的情況做一個有趣的預測，這樣大家就可以通過鏈接回到這篇帖子來嘲笑我們啦。

I"ll start:

1) Mexico City has a team or is close to getting a team.

2) Kobe is an assistant coach or head coach for a team.

3) Kevin Durant is on the Wizards.

我先來：

1）墨西哥首都墨西哥城會擁有或接近擁有一支球隊。

2）科比會成為一支球隊的助理教練或主教練。

3）杜蘭特會加盟奇才。

[–][WAS] John Wallphalanx76 473 指標 7小時前

Seattle still doesn"t have a team.

西雅圖仍然沒有一支球隊。

[–][SEA] Luke Ridnourmirror_mamba 159 指標 7小時前

Shit

西雅圖超音速隊球迷：艹。

[–][CLE] Kyrie IrvingLeKing_James 317 指標 7小時前

LeBron never leaves the Cavs

騎士球迷：老詹一直留在騎士。

[–][LAL] Kobe Bryantjimmcdermont 99 指標 7小時前

Too late for that

湖人球迷：哈哈老詹已經是我湖的人嘍。

[–][ATL] Ivan Johnson3pol 591 指標 7小時前

Kobe is an assistant coach

Yeah let me drop this $100mil venture capital firm and this hollywood producer shit that im doing real quick so I can be an assistant coach working under some guy that I dropped 50 points on

樓主：科比會成為一位助理教練。

科比：讓哥趕緊甩掉這價值億萬美元的風險投資公司以及這好萊塢製片人的身份，我得麻溜地去給被我拿了五十分的某隻菜雞做助理教練了。

[–]CavaliersBeavsbeavsbeavs 75 指標 4小時前

Lmao

哈哈哈哈笑死我了。

[–]Heatxanborghini 368 指標 7小時前Derrick Rose leads Sacramento to an NBA championship

德里克-羅斯帶領國王隊拿到總冠軍。

[–]PistonsA_Monocle_For_Sauron 87 指標 6小時前

You think he』ll make it to a head coaching job that quickly?

你真的覺得他會那麼快當上國王隊的主教練？

[–]CelticsJimboujee 148 指標 7小時前

That"s a weird way to spell Iman Shumpert

你用「德里克-羅斯」這幾個字寫伊曼-香珀特的名字真的好奇怪。

[–]RaptorsAvarrocka 202 指標 7小時前Wiggins finally puts it together and becomes an All Star player.

猛龍球迷：威金斯扔掉保溫杯進化成一個全明星球員。

[–][MIN] Andrew Wigginslawschoolfailure 120 指標 6小時前

After he leaves the Wolves and joins the Raptors.

森林狼球迷：這事發生在他離開森林狼加入猛龍之後。

[–]TimberwolvesBCP27 36 指標 6小時前

It"d be just our luck.

森林狼球迷：那我們可真是走運了。

[–][UTA] John StocktonThehealeroftri 23 指標 4小時前

And KAT flees to join a big 3 with Kyrie and Hayward in Boston.

爵士球迷：同時唐斯加入凱爾特人與歐文和海沃德組成三巨頭。

[–]Timberwolvesdenoobiest 13 指標 3小時前

don"t u put that on us

森林狼球迷：閉上你臭嘴！

[–]Rocketssportsfan786 99 指標 7小時前

Curry and KD are not both on the Warriors.

庫里和杜蘭特不會都在勇士。

[–]CavaliersKagsTheOneAndOnly 54 指標 3小時前

Warriors only win one more championship in the next five years

在未來的五年內勇士只能再拿到一個總冠軍。

[–]PistonsApatheee 213 指標 7小時前

Devin Booker is regarded as the best player in his draft class.

德文-布克被將認為是他那一屆選秀里最好的球員。

[–][PHI] Markelle FultzWilt2DrJ2Chuck2AI2Jo 118 指標 7小時前

The disrespect to vegan jah wow

76人球迷：哇你說這話也太不把奧卡福放在眼裡了。

[–]PistonsApatheee 37 指標 7小時前

Philly just needs to give him a chance.

哈哈哈你們忘了那些人是怎麼說的嘛？「76人只需要給他一個機會啊！！」

[–]Lakersjavi2123 53 指標 6小時前

I feel like this wouldn』t surprise too many people. He』s already dropped 70 and he』s only 21.

我感覺這個預測不能算驚人吧。畢竟布克拿過70分了而他才21歲。

[–]PistonsApatheee 37 指標 5小時前

I feel most people see him as a distant 3rd behind KAT and Unicorn in terms of potential.

我感覺大部分人都把布克排在（他們那一屆的）第三位，就潛力來說他還是遠遠落後於唐斯和波神。

[–]Lakersjavi2123 21 指標 5小時前

Both of those guys are better defensively . But offensively, booker is as good or better imo. Bookers defensive intensity will get better over the years and may be better if he joined a playoff team.

他倆防守更好些，但進攻而言，我認為布克有過之無不及。假以時日布克的防守強度會有所提高的，而且如果他能加入一支季後賽球隊應該也會好些吧。

[–]Supersonicsrealadulthuman 29 指標 4小時前

booker is more explosive, but KAT is unbelievably efficient at scoring. the main problem is that he doesnt get enough looks, honestly. if him and AD switched places hed be putting up 25+ a night for sure.

布克更有得分爆炸力，但是唐斯的得分效率高得驚人。說實話，唐斯的主要問題是他得不到足夠的出手啊。如果他和濃眉互換每晚拿個25＋根本不是問題。

His being surrounded by players like wiggins and butler who get a ton of looks, while probably helps minnesota overall, hinders his individual stats. on average id say KAT is a better scorer, but for one night booker can just kill it.

唐斯周圍都是威金斯巴特勒這種需要大量出手的球員，總體來看這樣會幫助球隊，同時也犧牲了唐斯的個人數據。平均下來我還是認為唐斯是更好的得分手，但布克會在某一個夜晚突然爆發。

edit: someone with a better knowledge of stats could probably back this up with FG% and usage stats and net rating whatever the hell that is

編輯：數據帝們也許能找到像投籃命中率、使用率或是凈效率什麼的這些來支持我的觀點。

[–]FUCKING-DELETE-THIS 168 指標 7小時前

Nikola Jokic is a top 5 NBA player. Brandon Ingram is one of the three most all around player in the game. Devin Booker is a multiple time scoring champ. Booker also breaks his 70 record once. OG Anunoby is a perennial all star.

約基奇會成為聯盟前五的球員。英格拉姆會是聯盟最全面的三個球員之一。布克會拿到幾個得分王，還會再打破一次自己的70分記錄。OG-阿奴諾比會成為一個全明星常客。

[–][UTA] John StocktonThehealeroftri 82 指標 4小時前

My prediction is this will be laughed at in 5 years in regards to Ingram.

爵士球迷：我的預測是樓上對於英格拉姆預測的那部分在五年後會讓人笑掉大牙。

[–]Lakersnik0 32 指標 3小時前

You are right, hes gonna be thought of as the goat and break all of wilts records

湖人球迷：樓上說的對，這也太低估鶯歌啦。他會被認為是史上最偉大的球員並且打破張伯倫的所有紀錄。

[–]LakersOnlyinVegas 68 指標 7小時前

The Hawks have two all-nba players

老鷹隊會有兩名NBA最佳陣容球員。

[–]BrotherSeamus 194 指標 6小時前

The Hawks have two NBA players.

有瑕疵，應該是：老鷹隊會有兩名NBA球員。

[–][TOR] DeMar DeRozancontigowater 41 指標 7小時前

LeBron is retired

詹姆斯會退役。

[–]RocketsWildSeaturtle 13 指標 5小時前

Harden shaves his beard

火箭球迷：哈登會剃掉大鬍子。

[–]MavericksEasyE41 33 指標 7小時前

Seattle gets a team.

76ers or TWolves win a championship and play eachother in the finals at some point within the 5 years.

Ben Simmons or Giannis develop a very reliable 3 point shot.

獨行俠球迷：

西雅圖會擁有一支球隊。

76人或森林狼會拿到一個總冠軍，而且在未來五年內的某次總決賽上會是這兩支球隊間的對決。

西蒙斯或是字母哥能開發出穩定的三分投射。

[–]SunsHARRY-B0UGHNER 78 指標 7小時前

Devin Booker wins MVP

太陽球迷：布克會拿MVP。

[–][LAL] Kobe BryantThe_Brown_Jesus 53 指標 7小時前

LeBron never wins another ring

湖人球迷：詹姆斯不會再拿到總冠軍戒指了。

[–]RocketsAtallahnator 31 指標 6小時前

I"m the biggest LeBron fan and I predict this too

火箭球迷：我是個純詹蜜但我的預測和樓上一樣。

[–][BOS] Dick Dickeyairmigos 228 指標 7小時前

It"s June 2024. Game 1 of the NBA finals. The Timberwolves have home court advantage against the Cleveland Cavaliers. This season has not been easy for Cleveland, they had trouble dispatching Milwaukee in 7 games, led by the 2 time MVP Giannis Antetokuompo and 5xAll star Thon Maker.

波士頓球迷：

大家好，這裡是2024年六月NBA總決賽G1的現場，手握主場優勢的明尼蘇達森林狼隊對陣克利夫蘭騎士隊。騎士走到現在並不容易，他們和由兩獲MVP的字母哥和五次入選全明星的索恩-梅克帶領的雄鹿鏖戰七場，艱難取勝。

Kyle Korver, now a head coach of the Cavaliers, had significant problems adjusting the rotation after the blockbuster trade that happened the night of the draft. LeBron James the first player-GM in league history traded 6x Champions Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving, along with James Jones and their 1st round pick for the Lakers no.1 pick in the 2023 draft, selecting his son, LeBron James jr. from Ohio State.

騎士如今的主教練凱爾-科沃爾在調整陣容上有些頭疼，因為球隊在選秀夜進行了大換血。勒布朗-詹姆斯——聯盟歷史上首位球員總經理，送出六屆總冠軍球員凱文-樂福、凱里-歐文、詹姆斯-瓊斯以及騎士的首輪簽換來湖人的狀元簽，並用這個狀元簽選中了他的兒子，來自俄亥俄州立大學的小勒布朗-詹姆斯。

LeBron James jr. is dubbed to be the next Ben Simmons, just less injury prone. Korver however, has to adjust for the fact that the young superstar rookie doesn"t have the shooting touch Love and Irving had. LeBron sr., now leading the league in 3pt percentage works hard with his son the entire season, and improvement comes just in time for the playoffs.

小勒布朗-詹姆斯的模板是本-西蒙斯，但他的傷病風險更低。然而，由於年輕的小詹在新秀賽季還沒有樂福和歐文那樣的投射能力，科沃爾主教練不得不調整陣容。目前三分球命中率位於聯盟榜首的老詹在整個賽季都在和他的兒子一起努力訓練，就在季後賽來臨之際效果開始顯現。

The Cavaliers take the court for game one, the dad and son duo manning the wings, 2x DPOY Larry Sanders, though past his prime, still mans the middle. At the guards, they have 3x most improved player Buddy Hield, who LeBron traded for at the deadline, giving up draft rights for Nikola Joki?"s son, which he fathered with DeAndre Jordan"s sister.

以下是騎士對於G1的布陣，詹姆斯父子強化了騎士側翼，兩屆DPOY拉里-桑德斯，儘管已經巔峰不再，仍然坐陣中鋒。至於後衛，騎士擁有三屆MIP巴迪-希爾德，他是老詹在交易截止日送出約基奇兒子的選秀權交易來的，小喬丹的妹妹是這孩子的母親。

Point guard is their weakest position, once great T.J. Mcconnell doesn"t have the same speed and defensive prowess that he once had, but he"s still clutch. Facing them is a former DPOY and MVP Karl-Anthony Towns, alongside Porzingis, who they signed 3 seasons ago, they will be going head to head with the LeBrons.

控衛是騎士最簙弱的位置，曾經優秀的TJ-麥康奈爾已經失去了他昔日的速度和防守能力，但他在關鍵時刻依然很穩。而騎士對面的森林狼擁有曾獲DPOY和MVP的唐斯，他身邊是森林狼在三年前簽下的波爾津吉斯，這二人會與詹姆斯父子對位。

The veteran small forward, Chandler Parsons, who is having a career year in Minnesota will guard Sanders, a terrible offensive player. Gritty veteran Rubio, side by side with Lonzo Ball will make plays. Of course they also have 6MOY, Stephen Curry, coming off the bench, which is a big plus for them. As all prepares for a epic showdown, LeBron sr."s and Curry"s eyes lock, and LeBron silently whispers: ""Warriors blew a 3-1 lead""

森林狼的小前鋒是剛打出職業生涯最佳表現的錢德勒-帕森斯，他將負責防守進攻端不忍直視的桑德斯。老將盧比奧和朗佐-鮑爾組織進攻。此外，森林狼的替補席上還坐著最佳第六人史蒂芬-庫里，這對球隊是很大的加成。當所有人都在為這場史詩般的對決做著準備時，詹姆斯和庫里目光對視，勒布朗輕聲低語說道：「勇士曾浪掉了三比一的領先優勢」。

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