No Way to Say Goodbye：無語話別
Ain"t No Cure For Love
The Essential Leonard Cohen
Leonard Cohen
00:00/00:00
配樂：Ain"t No Cure For Love by Leonard Cohen
No Way to Say Goodbye
By Larry David
無語話別
拉里·戴維
June 25, 1942. The day I went off to war. My sweetheart, Alice, whom I started dating my junior year of high school,drove me to the station to see me off. We were in love, and the thought of being apart was overwhelming for both of us.
1942年，6月25號，那天我去參戰。愛麗絲駕車送我到車站，她是我高中就處的女友。共墜愛河，想到分離，我們猶如萬箭穿心。
Alice parked the car, and we held hands as we walked silently through the station andout onto the platform. Our hearts bursting, we gazed at each other for a fewmoments before she spoke. I remember the conversation almost verbatim.
愛麗絲停好車，我倆牽手默默走過車站，進到站台。兩心澎湃。對視許久，愛麗絲開了口，對話內容，我記憶猶新。
「Promise you』ll come back to me.」
「答應我平安歸來。」
「I promise.」
「我答應。」
「And promise you』ll write to me.」
「你還得保證給我寫信。」
「Of course I』ll write to you.」
「我當然會給你寫信。」
「Everyday.」
「每天都寫。」
「Everyday? Hmm. Well, I』ll certainly try. I mean, I』ll be in a war. I』ll be fighting.But, sure, if I have the time to do it, I will.」
「每天？嗯。好吧，我肯定得試試。我是說，我將參戰、上陣。當然，要是有時間，我定會寫。」
「Nan gets letters from Brad every day.」
「萳每天都收到布拉德來信。」
「Yeah,but Brad is some sort of adjutant in an office. He has a desk. If I were in an office with a desk, I』d write three times a day. Also, now that I think about it, I don』t know where I』ll be getting all this paper from. I can』t really walk around with a ream of paper in my knapsack. It』s pretty heavy as it is. I gotta carry bullets, grenades, a sleeping bag, a canteen. I don』t know if I can load up with paper.」
「是吧，可布拉德像是個坐辦公室的副官，他有辦公桌。要是我也坐辦公室，有桌子，我一天寫三封。不過，我琢磨著去哪弄信紙呢。總不能背著塞滿紙的包到處跑吧，重得很。我還得負彈、手雷、睡袋，還有餐具盒。不懂還能不能扛得動紙張。」
「I』m not asking you to load up, but I』m certainly worth a few sheets.」
「我沒要你加重，但我還總值幾頁紙吧。」
「Absolutely you』re worth a few sheets. You』re taking this all wrong.」
「你絕對值了。你想哪去了。」
「How does everyone else manage to write?」
「其他人又都寫得？」
「That』s a good question, and, believe me, it』s one I intend to get to the bottom of,」 I said, catching a glimpse of myself in the train window. Damn, I looked good in a uniform.
「問得好，相信我，這問題我會查個水落石出，」我說到，瞥見火車窗里的自己。哎媽，穿軍裝的我還真帥。
「Did you at least pack a pen?」
「至少帶得動一隻筆吧？」
「I did, but, I』m not gonna lie, it was skipping a little, so there』s a good chance it could run out in the first letter.」
「可以，但，老實說，這筆有點露墨，所以極有可能在寫第一封信時都沒墨水了。」
「Well,get another one. Maybe a few.」
「嗯，再買一隻。或許可以多備幾隻。」
「Not really sure if they sell pens on the front. And you know what I』m like with pens. They fall out of my pocket. The good news is that I think they have some pretty good pockets in Army pants. Maybe even with zippers! I don』t know why all pockets don』t have zippers. You know, when I come home, maybe I』ll get into the pants-with-zipper-pockets business,」 I went on, popping a Life Saver into my mouth in preparation for our goodbye kiss.
「還真不確定前線是否有筆賣。而且你也知道，我帶的筆總從口袋掉出來。好在軍褲的袋子不賴，沒準還帶拉鏈。想不通為啥所有口袋不帶拉鏈。等我回來，說不定我會經營『有拉鏈褲袋的褲子生意』，」我接著說道，在嘴裡放了顆薄荷糖，準備吻別。
She looked at me strangely.
她怪異地看著我。
「What』s that look for? You don』t think zipper pockets are a good idea?」
「那是啥眼神？你不覺得拉鏈褲袋不好？」
「Sounds like you don』t want to write at all!」
「怎麼聽著你一點不想寫信呢！」
「Alice,I just said I』ll look into the whole thing once I get situated! I want to write. The problem is—」
「愛麗絲，我不過是說，一旦安頓好，我會看情況寫的。我是想寫，問題是—」
「I know, the paper and pen.」
「我知道，沒紙筆。」
「Right! And the time. Suppose I』m fighting all day, killing people, getting fired at.Saving buddies. Canteen low on water. I get back to base camp, exhausted, filthy. My first thought, if I can be perfectly honest, is going to be to sit down, relax, have some C rations—that』s food that comes in a can.」
「對嘛！還有時間。假設我整天在打仗，殺人，被炮火包圍，救戰友，缺水。等回到營地，已精疲力竭，一身臭。我首先想到，實話跟你說，我會坐下、放鬆、吃C-口糧，那是灌裝食品。」
「I know what C rations are!」
「我知道C-口糧是什麼東西！」
「Anyway, after the rations, I』m going to look into a shower or something. You know how fussy I am about being clean. So, after all that, yes, if I have the pen and paper, I』ll try to write, although it might be dark. I suppose I can use a flashlight, but it』ll be tough to hold the pen and the flashlight at the same time. And, by the way, if it』s windy all bets are off.」
「總之，吃過東西後，我會洗個澡啥的。你也知道我愛乾淨。所以，在那之後，當然，要是有紙筆，我會試著寫信，哪怕那時天色可能暗淡。或許我應可以用電筒照明，但拿筆又拿電筒會很難。對了，要是颳風，那就沒轍了。」
「O.K.,enough! You know what? I don』t even want you to write.」
「好吧，夠了！你還是別寫了。」
It was time to board. I hesitated, not wanting to leave her like this.
是時候上車了。我猶豫，不想以這種方式離開她。
「Boy, you』re really twisting things here. I just can』t believe that after a day of putting my life on the line for you and our American way of life the firstthing you want me to do is somehow come up with a sheet of paper and a pen that works and write you some long letter. I have to say, it』s starting to feel like a homework assignment. I』m not Shakespeare, for God』s sake. I mean, if anybody should be writing every day, it』s you. You』ve got time. And a desk.」
「哇，你真是胡攪蠻纏。難以想像，在為你和我們國家拼死拼活一天後，你竟要我第一時間給你寫封長信。不得不說，這像是個家庭作業。老天，我可不是莎士比亞。要我說，要有人每天都寫信的話，那人非你莫屬，你有時間，還有桌子。」
I picked up my duffel. 「I better go.」 I moved in for a kiss, but she recoiled. Crushed by this unfortunate turn of events, I shook my head and boarded. Once seated, I leaned out to her.
我背起行囊。「我該走了。」我靠近想吻她，她後退。此舉讓我崩潰，遙遙頭上了車。找到座位，我探出頭去。
「Alice, this is no way to say goodbye.」
「愛麗絲，這算哪門子道別。」
「I』m serious. Don』t write at all.」
「說真的，別給我寫信了。」
「Don』t be like that!」
「別這樣！」
「No. Here』s your ring. I don』t want it.」 She threw it, nailing me in the forehead, where it left an imprint that lasted until I got to North Africa.
「別。這是你的戒指。我不稀罕。」她扔了戒指，又在我額頭戳了一下，留下的一道印記直到北非才消失。
As the train pulled away, I called out, 「Alice, please!」
火車啟動，我喊道：「愛麗絲，別這樣！」
But she stood firm. 「Goodbye.」
她紋絲不動。「再會。」
「O.K.,Alice, I』ll write!」 I shouted desperately. 「Surely someone will loan me a penand a few sheets of paper!」
「好吧，愛麗絲，我給你寫信！」我絕望喊道。「肯定有人會有人借紙筆給我的！」
「I hope they shoot you in the arm and then you won』t have to think about it.」 Withthat, she walked away. I never saw her again.
「我希望他們射傷你的手臂，這樣你就不用想寫信的事了。」說完，她走了。我再也見不到她。
In the end, the things I said about the pens and the paper were all true. On the front, guys were constantly complaining that they didn』t have time to write and that paper got all crumpled in their knapsacks. Pens were in such demand that they were constantly being stolen. And don』t even get me started on stamps.
最終，關於紙和筆，我當初說的是對的。在前線，戰友常抱怨沒時間寫信，背包中的紙張也全被弄皺了。筆很是搶手，經常被偷。就甭提郵票的事了。
I did, however, find time to write to Alice one lonely night with my flashlight on. This had the tragic consequence of alerting a troop of German soldiers to our whereabouts, resulting in the deaths of my platoon leader and the guy whose backpack I had pilfered for paper. I myself was shot in the arm, making it impossible for me to ever pick up a rifle again, much less a pen. ?
然而，我終究還是有了時間，一個寂寞的晚上，我照著電筒給愛麗絲寫信。結果，德國士兵知道了我們的方位，導致我們的排長和那個我偷了紙張的戰友犧牲了。我手臂中彈，再也沒法拿槍，也別提拿筆了。
原文載於：The New Yoker (March,5,2018)
TAG:吉木坊 |