今天我決定不再等你
今天我決定不再等你
從未想過，
有一天，我將離你而去。
我對自己說，
一定要等你回來，
與我再續前緣。
當初，萬事萬物，
美好的讓我難以致信。
如今，對你的想念，
卻不再讓我夢縈魂牽。
輾轉之苦，切膚之痛，
都已離我遠去，隨風飄散!
你希望，我們仍然是朋友。
我明白，藕斷絲連，
只能留下更多的傷害;
顯而易見，某些事並非多多益善。
此時此刻，我很清楚，
無論以前多麼相愛，
現在都得重新開始，
選擇一個，任何情形下，
都嘗試留下來，陪我的人。
對此，你卻無能為力。
儘管如此，現實卻是，
目前你仍是我最愛的人。
我要說，繼續與你同行，
也許好過只有希望。
因為最後，希望於我，
也只是去執著地幻想，
作一個我們結合的夢。
其實，你已夢想成真。
你讓我知道還有人，
站在我的角度看待生活，
讓我傾聽和喜愛都專註於當下，
讓我大開眼界，
知道了積極和滿足的意義。
我不再虛度時光，
因為，當我已經放棄，
你竟然讓我見證了奇蹟。
你說，我應該學會感恩，
我認為你說得對。
我說，你讓我不再心碎，
你相信我已足夠堅強。
雖然分手，
但我知道，無論怎樣，
你都能讓自己愉快。
你永遠是那麼樂觀，
而我也希望自己，
很快振作起來，
重新獲得幸福。
未來某天，
如果我們偶然相遇，
或者你再敲我房門，
也許那時，
我會熱烈地歡迎你回家。
只是今天，
我決定不再繼續等你。
2018年3月21日於梅(初久譯)
Today I Decided to Stop Waiting for You
Never have I thought that there would come a day that I"d be sure of finally walking away from you.
I"d been telling myself that I"d be willing to wait, reassuring myself that one day you"ll come back to me and we"d be able to continue where we"d left off; when everything was too beautiful to even believe. These days, however, the thought of you hasn"t been clouding my mind anymore. The pain that once held me back from getting out of bed is now long gone.
When you told me that you hoped we could still be friends, I knew deep inside that it would hurt too much to continue being a part of your life when, clearly, there could be something more. Now I"m certain that no matter how great our love could have been, I still deserve someone who is willing enough to try and stay no matter the circumstance—something you weren"t able to do for the both of us.
So, despite the fact that I had fallen in love with you more than I could ever with anyone else so far, what I"m trying to say is that maybe it"s for the best to move on with my life, and from you, instead of hoping. In the end, hope is only a way for me to hold on to fantasy, to the dream of having an 「us」.
Besides, you were already a dream come true. You"d shown me that there are still people who see life in my perspective, who listen, who love like there"s no tomorrow. You"d opened my eyes to a new world that"s positive and full of contentment. Because of you, I"ve finally begun to appreciate the value of time. You were my miracle when I was already giving up.
Anyways, you were right all along when you said I should be thankful. Hopefully enough, you believe me when I say thank you for making my heart feel whole again.
I"m giving you up now, though. I know you"re happy wherever you are, you"ve always been such a joyful person. I hope that, soon enough, I live a life that is surrounded by happiness too. But if there will ever come a time that we meet coincidentally, or if you come knocking on my door again, maybe I might let you back in.
It"s just that today, I"ve finally decided to stop waiting.
離別
理智分手，還是朋友。
好聚好散，無悔無怨。
常思君恩，點滴在心。
心中有愛，仍可期待。
今作離別，情不糾結。
2018年3月22日於梅
知音
何人解心事?眾皆覓知音。
相交如寶鑒，日常見我心。
醍醐能貫頂，在世無他人。
不為日長久，但得一時真。
破盡痴情鎖，方始見本尊。
2018年3月22日於梅(初久)
Soul Mate
People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that"s what everyone wants.
But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate isprobably the most important person you"ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.
But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mate"s purpose is to shake you up, and tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master . ..
本文節選自《美食祈禱和戀愛》。該書是伊麗莎白·吉爾伯特的自傳小說，講述的是作者以旅行治癒感情之傷、重燃生活希望的故事。
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