哈登表示和保羅搭檔猶如一見鍾情，美網友開發腦洞寫小說

運動 04-11

金屬質感分割線 James Harden on being teammates with Chris Paul: 「I don』t mean to sound too mushy or whatnot, but it was like love at first sight.」

詹姆斯-哈登談起與克里斯-保羅做隊友的感覺：「我不想太矯情，但是基本可以說是一見鍾情。」

[–][MIA] James JohnsonJewRepublican69 2631 指標 9小時前

This is so r/NBA

太符合咱這區的畫風了。

[–]gayrud 1075 指標 8小時前

Sometimes I just wanna get all the guys on here together and have a fun slumber party and pillow fight in our costco boxer-briefs.

有時候，我真希望咱這的所有JR一起開個睡衣Party，哥幾個都穿著Costco的四角緊身內褲，來一場基情四射的枕頭大戰。

[–]VenerableHate 532 指標 7小時前

Costco? We wear Me Undies around here. Use the promo code BS to get your first pair free. That』s my initials, BS..

Costco的？我們流行穿Me Undies的內褲。使用優惠碼BS可以免費領一條呦，哦對了，BS是我名字縮寫。

[譯註1]

[譯註1]著名球評Bill Simmons的播客中插播的廣告。

[–]gayrud 225 指標 7小時前

I wear lingerie. hope that"s cool.

我都穿女士貼身內衣，有毛病嗎，大兄弟。

[–]marcushirsch 134 指標 6小時前

only if youre willing to take it off

你願意脫下來才是真正沒毛病。

[–]Kingssux2urAssmar 97 指標 6小時前

oh no it"s the kind where you don"t need to (:

他穿的是不必脫下來的那種。

[–]Lakerskhiron 45 指標 5小時前

Crotchless lingerie? You like to live dangerously.

開檔貼身內衣？老哥活得挺驚險啊。

[–]Kingssux2urAssmar 111 指標 5小時前

it"s more like a sock with a hole in it

更像是個帶洞的襪子。

[–]NBAjustanavrgguy 155 指標 4小時前

All socks have a hole in them

嗯……襪子不都是有洞的嗎。

[–]Kings TankwagonKracadon 54 指標 7小時前

I"m waiting for the juicy CP3 Harden fan fiction.

跪求保羅&哈登同人小說，在線等。

[–]Mavericks TankwagonDoctorBreakfast 435 指標 6小時前

Chris Paul yelled, 「There you go!」 Nene gave a look of pleasant surprise. Eric Gordon belted, 「We got a fucking squad now.」 And before James Harden hit the locker room door, ex-NBA star Yao Ming hugged him & said, 「你們都看起來如此不同.」

「幹得漂亮！」保羅忍不住叫了出來，內內滿臉驚喜的看了一眼。戈登鞭撻著說：「咱現在這夥人真TMD像樣。」哈登打開更衣室大門，卻被姚明撞個滿懷，姚明一把抱住他說道：「你們都看起來如此不同。」

[–]Chronos-_- 85 指標 5小時前

I』m just gonna assume this says 「y』all look so different now」 in Chinese

我猜那句中文說的是「y』all look so different now（你們看起來如此不同）」

[–][NYK] Tim Hardawayanthoneyk123 80 指標 4小時前

It says 「Start Zhou Xi」 trust me I am a master of language

那句話說的是「讓周琦首發」，我是語言通，我書讀的多不會騙你的。

[–]Lakersgizayabasu 58 指標 5小時前

I think Yao Ming speaks English when he"s talking with other NBA players.

我覺得，姚明應該會用英語和其它NBA球員交流吧……

[–]Grizzlieselkresurgence 106 指標 5小時前

Never let facts get in the way of a good story

噓，聽故事喃，別較真！

[–]TraeRoyalty 645 指標 9小時前

They definitely smashed

他倆肯定搞過。

[–][TOR] Jakob Poeltlmazzboy 82 指標 6小時前

It"s not gay if their dicks don"t touch

兩隻雞雞沒碰碰車就不算搞基。

[–]LeGilbert 50 指標 5小時前

It ain"t gay if you don"t bust

不抽搐著迸發也不算搞基。

[–][OKC] Raymond FeltonDTttfu 1440 指標 9小時前

I"m not gay, but I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with James Harden. We won"t ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him hitting fadeaways on the driveway hoop and running cone drills shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I"ll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to James Harden.

雷霆球迷：我不是基佬，但我幻想能和哈登一起住在叢林的小木屋裡。我們不會行巫山雲雨之事，但當我站在廚房窗邊，看著哈登在屋外車道的球場上訓練，命中一記記後仰跳投，汗水順著他赤裸的脊背流下來，在陽光下閃閃發亮，每當這時我都會感覺一股抑制不住的情慾在體內慢慢流淌，我會忍不住衝上樓對著他自慰，並強迫自己在腦中想著女人的赤身裸體來從哈登身上轉移注意力，然而他還是在我的腦海中不願離去。

I won"t be able to climax and I"ll eventually go back downstairs, angry and sexually frustrated. Sometimes we will look across the table at dinner and catch each other"s eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then he"ll go inside, pen a brief missive to his departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without his one true platonic love.

但我無法高潮，只能帶著憤怒和（對性的）失望走下樓。晚餐時，我們有時會忍不住凝望桌子另一邊的對方，四目相對，相顧無言，這一刻，彷彿所有事都可能發生，但是我們會很快切斷這一涌動的暗流，重新各顧各的做事。終有一天，我們中會有一人先死去，另一人則會把他埋葬在木屋外。他接著走進屋，為死去摯友寫一封短函，再抹刀自刎親自將信送到，因為沒了這份柏拉圖式的愛情，生活還有什麼意義喃。

[–]Rocketsrickjamesbich 265 指標 7小時前

Who else here has sexual thoughts about men but you swear you"re not gay but you just wanna be held by James Harden"s strong arms and you know that"d make you feel safe but you swear you"re not gay definitely not in a gay way I mean but he has such soft lips and you know you would just like to feel them just once but you know you"re definitely not gay but if he asked you to blow him you"d probably say yes but no homo who else feels like this who else is just really into James Harden from the Rockets?

火箭球迷：我想知道這裡對男人有性幻想的JR只有我一個嗎，我不是基佬啊，絕對不是基佬，但是我就是想依偎在哈登強壯且充滿安全感的臂膀里，我不是基佬啊，絕對不是，但我就是輕撫他柔軟的嘴唇，但我不是基佬啊，絕對不是，但是如果哈登提出要求的話，我是會給他吹簫的，但是我不搞基啊，我絕對不是基佬啊。各位JR還有特別中意火箭的詹姆斯-哈登的嗎？

[–][CLE] Zydrunas Ilgauskaspha_queue 187 指標 7小時前

Dude, no...that"s weird. But let me give you a scenario. I"m at a beach cabana. James Harden comes up and tries to kiss me. I would definitely resist at first, but if he was persistent, I would probably give in a little bit, depending on how persistent he was...

騎士球迷：不存在的老鐵，這太奇怪了。不過我可以設想這麼個場景：我正在屋外的海灘上曬太陽，哈登突然過來要親我，我第一反應當然拒絕啦，但是他非親不可，這我就沒辦法了，可能會屈服那麼一下下，當然這取決於哈登有多想要這個吻。

[–]RocketsLukesLikeIt 102 指標 6小時前

You』ve got to play hard to get or James will think you are a slut

火箭球迷：你得充滿侵略性，不然哈登肯定覺得你是個小騷蹄子。

[–]RocketsAyyyyyyyLemao 286 指標 8小時前

Shit this is what reddit loves. People on this sub would probably love Harden if he ends up announcing that he"s coming out of the closet and going to strip clubs was just a front.

火箭球迷：艹，這破區就愛看這種新聞。如果哈登宣布出櫃，並且表示頻繁出入脫衣舞俱樂部只是為了掩飾，你們還不得高潮上天啊。

[–]RocketsHyperactivity786 65 指標 7小時前

Why do they have to be mutually exclusive things?

火箭球迷：這兩者衝突嗎?

[–]RocketsLukesLikeIt 152 指標 6小時前

He』s just putting girls through college... one at a time

火箭球迷：哈登只不過是為了幫助女大學生們完成學業罷了！一個一個來。

[譯註3]

[譯註3]美國脫衣舞女的經典自白：「我來這跳舞是為了交大學學費。」

[–]NBAFookThaMaywetters 50 指標 6小時前

Oh shit, I never looked at it that way, totally changed my views on Harden.

卧槽，樓上這個角度新奇，我還從來沒這麼想過，完全改變了我對哈登的看法啊！

[–]RocketsRockets2018NBACHAMPS 69 指標 9小時前

火箭球迷：

[–][HOU] Aaron Brooksdr-wong 42 指標 8小時前

Im with you there beard. You guys are perfect for each other. I wonder why it was popular for casual fans to say this pairing wouldnt work

火箭球迷：登仔我支持你。你和保羅就是天生一對。搞不懂為啥這麼多不怎麼看球的說你們的組合不會奏效。

[–]gettingaroundban 102 指標 6小時前

They totally seem like that duo who regularly play together at your local pickup. CP3 is the short guy who talks the entire game and just throws dimes and Harden is the taller athletic dude who is quiet and looks stoned AF crossing people up and pulling from deep while CP3 makes sound effects.

燈泡組合絕對就像當地野球場上的那種默契二人組。保羅是那個整場BB不停的矮子，不停的送出妙傳；哈登是運動能力不錯的高個，不怎麼說話，但看起來總跟嗨大了一樣，在保羅大嘴巴嘚吧嘚吧的時候不斷過暈對手，干拔超遠三分。

[–]WarriorsPunchyMcFisticuffs 897 指標 8小時前*

Not surprised. Harden and Paul are two guards that can handle the ball, find open teammates, and score consistently. Harden"s basically sharing the floor with the Pokemon blue version of himself. Just trade height for defense.

勇士球迷：一拍即合是意料之中的。哈登和保羅都是能處理球、能找到空位的隊友並能一直得分的的後衛。哈登現在基本上就是跟口袋妖怪藍版本的自己搭檔，降了身高，多了防守。

[譯註4]

[譯註4]：《口袋妖怪》遊戲第一世代共包括紅、綠、藍、黃版，這4個版本中均有151隻寶可夢，其中夢幻是直到開發結束前2周的時候才被森本茂樹臨時添加進去的，無法捕獲。除此以外，根據不同的版本，也會有少數寶可夢無法直接捕獲，需要與其他版本通信交換才可以獲得。

[–]RocketsAstroWorldSecurity 190 指標 6小時前

It"s pretty sad that I had to scroll down this far to read something actually about basketball and not a juvenile gay joke.

火箭球迷：真是醉了，翻過那麼多幼稚的基情笑話才終於看到像樣的籃球評論。

[–]WarriorsIllegalThoughts 110 指標 5小時前

/r/nba is literally 15

話題區人均15歲。

[–]Knicksostrow19 45 指標 4小時前

They did a survey and the average age was 18 or 19, but still young for sure

Reddit做過調查，咱這版塊平均年齡是十八九歲，不過確實很年輕是了。