中國留學生的心聲
To be honest, being abroad alone is very strange.
說實話，一個人在國外讀書很不習慣。
You were waving to your friends and family, and the next second, you are in a different country. (Flying is the worst; I don』t even want to think about it.) They don』t speak your language, and you probably don』t speak theirs very well. You see different people, things you』ve never seen, and it』s highly possible you』ll be stared at because you are a foreigner. It does not feel good.
前一秒你還在和家人朋友揮手告別，下一秒，你就在另一個國度(長途飛行是我最不願回憶的事，真是糟透了)。人們不說你的語言，他們的語言你可能說得也不是很好。你看到不同的人，不同的物，因為你是外國人，很可能你會被盯著看，這種感覺很不好。
I felt terrible when I first arrived in my new home away from home, even though the people were so nice. The food was so different, everything was so distinct, and I was afraid, or in other words, in a panic. You want somebody you know to be with you, to support you, but there isn』t anyone. You are alone.
當我第一次離家在外，儘管鄰里都很好，入住新家時還是感覺很不適應。飲食等等所有的一切都是如此的不同，這使我有些害怕，換句話說，讓我有些不知所措。你希望有一個認識的人能夠陪你，支持你，然而你只有你自己。
People are afraid to be alone; we are social creatures who want to be surrounded by people. However, you are born an individual, and you will die an individual. Throughout your life, you have friends, family, and lovers, all who will eventually leave your life in some way. It』s so interesting that you can be surrounded by people in a big city but still feel lonely.
人們害怕孤獨；我們是需要被人包圍被人溫暖的社交生物。然而，人生來就是一個個體，終將孤獨死去。在你的一生中，你有朋友、家人和愛人，他們最終都會以某種方式離開你的生活。多麼諷刺，你可以被人包圍城市中，但仍會感到孤獨。
That』s how I feel in high school here in NAME CITY. All my classmates have known each other since they were born. They are Catholics; they speak their own English, and they love cheese so deeply (along with all kinds of bread and peanut butter). At some point, every international student will feel lonely. No matter how many friends they have (Chinese or foreigners) or how long they stay on honor roll, they might not feel like they totally fit in. Jokes can be hard to understand, and the language barrier can make communication difficult. One day I started to think, is this really what I wanted? It turns out, I don』t know. There is only one way to get rid of these thoughts: just try to forget.
這就是我在國外讀高中時候的感受，我的同學們從出生起就認識彼此了，他們是天主教徒，他們說自己的英語，都非常喜歡吃乳酪(還有各種麵包和花生醬)。在某些時候，每個國際學生多多少少都會有孤獨感。不管他們有多少朋友(中國人或外國人)，也不管他們在榮譽名冊上留存了多久，他們總會感覺自己與周遭不適。不能理解他們的笑話，語言障礙使交流變得困難。有一天我開始想，這真的是我想要的嗎？事實是我也不知道。擺脫這些想法的方法只有一個:試著忘記。
Two months ago, I read a short story called 「Just Try to Forget」 by Nathaniel Benchley. It』s about a nervous boy named Larry who jumped the gun in a swimming competition and lost the match. The whole team lost because of him. What could he do about it? Like the title says, just try to forget. There are problems that we can』t figure out, and sometimes there』s nothing you can do about it. I put my time into study. I dive into the world of English. I do homework, write papers, give presentations, manage group work, and, of course, try my best to make some new friends. It is very hard. It is not that easy for others to become my friends, because I tend to be shy. Sometimes it』s not so bad to be alone, because you have plenty of time for self-reflection. But you have to learn how to balance social life with alone time. Make some time to make friends, and stay busy. This way, life is easier.
兩個月前，我讀了納撒尼爾·本特利的一篇短篇小說《試著忘記》。小說講述了一個叫拉里的神經緊張的男孩在游泳比賽中搶跳輸了比賽，因此夜影響了整個團隊的成績，導致團隊輸掉比賽。他能做些什麼呢？就像標題一樣，試著忘記。有些問題我們無法解決，也無能為力。於是我把時間填滿，我沉醉於到英語的世界，做家庭作業，寫論文，做報告，管理小組工作，當然，我也儘力結交一些新朋友。結交新朋友很難，對其他人來說，成為我的朋友也不容易，因為我比較內向。有時候獨處也不錯，因為你有足夠的時間進行自我反省。但是你必須學會如何平衡社交生活和獨處的時間。花點時間交朋友，充實生活。這樣，生活就舒服多了。
I also noticed that when you live alone it can be hard to manage yourself. When I was in China, my mom was the person who told me to 「clean this!」 and 「do that!」 Now, I』m in the U.S., a teenager. Can you imagine my room? Sometimes it gets really messy, or I forget to brush my teeth, and there is no one to remind me. This thought is pretty bittersweet. I』m both excited about no one reminding me to do my chores and saddened by it. How sentimental!
我還發現，獨自生活很難管理好自己。在中國的時候，我媽媽會告訴我 「打掃這個」「做那個」現在，我一個十幾歲的人獨自在美國，你能想像我的房間嗎？有時候真的很亂，有時我忘了刷牙，也沒有人來提醒我。這樣的生活苦樂參半，沒有人提醒我做家務，我既開心又有些難過。真是多愁善感啊！
Environment really affects a lot. I had poor English reading and writing skills, and now I』m able to read The Fault In Our Stars by John Green in English, and write this article. My English teacher loves plays. We spent a month reading A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Dickens used all these ancient English vocabulary and expressions, and it was very difficult. But after reading the play, I felt that I had somehow evolved. Being bilingual, I』m more sensitive to the differences between English and Chinese. For example, the phrase 「from heart」 and 「by heart」 have totally different meanings. In Chinese, they all mean one thing: do it sincerely. But in English, only one means do it sincerely, the other means do it by memory. These are things I would never know if I didn』t go to a high school in a different country.
Now, my loneliness has gone away a little bit.
環境對人的影響真的很大。以前我的英語讀寫能力很差，現在我可以不費力得讀約翰格林的《星星之錯》，還有寫本篇文章了。我的英語老師喜歡戲劇，我們花了一個月的時間讀查爾斯狄更斯的《小氣財神》。狄更斯使用了大量古老的英語辭彙和表達，讀起來非常困難。但讀完劇本後，我覺得自己進步很大，對英漢兩種語言的差異更敏感。例如，「from heart」和「by heart」這兩個詞有完全不同的含義，在中文裡，它們都是「發自內心」的意思，但在英語中，一個是發自內心的意思，另一個牢記的意思。如果我不去國外讀高中，我永遠也不會知道這些事情。
現在，我的孤獨感淡卻了許多。
About Shirley Chen
I am 15. I went abroad in 2017, right afterI graduate from my middle school. My favorite thing to do is to have a cup of hot tea, and get a book to read by the window on a snowy winter afternoon.
我今年15歲了，2017年中學一畢業就出國了。我最喜歡做的事是在冬日下雪的午後，手捧一杯熱茶在窗前看書。
Mom"s note
For humans, child is a star in the vast sky. For me and our family, the child is the whole milky way. Child is the arrow, we parents are the bows. How full the bow is, how far the arrow can shoot and how fast it can fly. Even if it is a meteor, it should be the most shiny one.
Contact me if you want to communicate with me about it.
Follow WeChat Platform ID :supcz0519, leave messages "Study Abroad communication"
媽媽寄語：
對於人類，孩子是浩瀚星空的一顆星。對於我和我們家，孩子是整個星河。孩子是箭，父母是弓。弓拉得多滿，箭就能射多遠飛得多快。哪怕是流星，也要做閃耀出最大光芒的那一顆。
有需要交流的家長，可以找我。
方式：關注微信號：supcz0519，在後台留言「留學交流」即可。
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