從小被要求順從，讓我長大後不清楚自己到底想要什麼

「我嘗試著不總是要求她順從，即使順從在當下可能會有所幫助。我小時候被養育的方式就是順從第一、其他第二。我們被要求站著不動，成年人在場，我們就得『隱形』，不能被看見或聽見。

我媽是單親，她生活的環境也比較艱辛。所以在她看來，順從意味著安全。她認為她不得不那樣做——她跟我們說話時都是命令式的。

這讓我長大之後，不清楚自己到底想要什麼。我甚至會指望別人來告訴我我想要什麼。

所以我想把她養得更獨立些。我希望她有創造力，並且能自由自在地去行動。如果那意味著繞圈跑，或者在她吃葡萄時跳上跳下，我就會讓她去做，即使我很累。」

「I』m trying to not always require obedience even though it might be helpful in the moment. I was raised with obedience first and everything else second. We were supposed to always stand still. We weren』t to be seen or heard in the presence of adults.

My mom was a single mother in a tough neighborhood, so in her mind, obedience meant safety. It』s what she felt she had to do. She only spoke to us in directions.

And that caused me to grow up not really knowing what I wanted for myself. I』d even look to other people to tell me what I wanted.

So I』m trying to raise her with a bit more independence. I want her to be creative and have freedom of movement. If that means running in circles, or jumping up and down while she』s eating her grapes, I』ll let her. Even if I』m tired.」

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ABOUT US

Humans of New York是紐約攝影師Brandon Stanton開創的街頭攝影計劃，他每天在紐約的街頭尋找普通的紐約人，請他們講述自己的生活和感悟，簡單的幾句話里常常有讓人會心一笑或者擊中人心的力量。

在Humans of New York的激勵下，世界上很多城市都有人開始了類似的攝影項目，其中也包括不少中國城市。我們也會從中選擇部分有意思的故事不定期發布。

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