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藝術是一面鏡子,照進人們真實痛苦的內心

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An artist must make timefor the long periods of solitude

An artist should stay for long periods of timelooking at fast-running rivers

An artist should stay for long periods of timelooking at the horizon where the ocean and sky meet

An artist should stay for long periods of time looking at the stars in the night sky

藝術家必須長期獨處

藝術家應該長期觀察湍急的河流

藝術家應該長期遠望海天交接的地平線

藝術家應該長期凝視夜空中的點點繁星

Marina Abramovic?

以上宣言來自一位偉大的行為藝術家,她被稱為行為藝術之母,她就是1946年出生於前南斯拉夫的Marina Abramovic?瑪麗娜·阿布拉莫維奇。上世紀七十年代,Marina Abramovic?在開創了全新的藝術模式,她將觀眾的參與一併帶入了行為藝術表演過程中。她的創作主旨大多是探索表演者和觀眾之間的關係、探索身體的極限以及思想的可能性。

Marina 的父母都是共產黨員,父親是二戰英雄,母親是少校軍官。但父母之間的關係是她童年抹不去的陰影,她曾在回憶錄寫道:「我從小活在不被需要,不被愛的世界裡。父親給我取名Marina, 是因為這是他曾在參軍時期愛過的一個女人的名字。母親因此怨恨父親,也怨恨我。父母親的婚姻就是一場戰爭。我從未看到過他們親吻或彼此表達親昵。」

Marina與母親的關係一直是她無法掙脫的心結。母親從小對Marina進行嚴格的軍事化管理,25歲時她還被門禁晚上10點前必須回家,小時候甚至經常被打得鼻子出血。因而,尋求身心極限狀態下的自我解放和某種自由度一度成為Marina行為藝術創作的內在線索之一。2016年,70歲的Marina Abramovic?出版了自己的回憶錄Walk Through Walls,細述自己一生的故事。

本期分享

Walk Through Walls.

(一)行為藝術的萌芽

Marina從小就對藝術展現出非凡的領悟能力。

When I was a child, I never played with dolls. I never wanted dolls. And I didn』t like toys.I preferred to play with the shadows of passing cars on the wall or a ray of sun streaming through the window.

小時候我從沒有玩過洋娃娃,我也不喜歡玩具。從小我就喜歡觀察路邊車輛經過時投在牆上的影子,或盯著太陽透過窗戶照進房間里的光線。

學生時代的Marina分別在南斯拉夫首都的貝爾格萊德美術學院以及後來的克羅埃西亞美術學院完成了學士和碩士學業。在此期間,她對新型的藝術表現形式產生了強烈的興趣。

Why should I limit myself to two dimensions when I could make art from anything at all: fire, water, the human body? Anything!Being an artist meant having immense freedom. If I wanted to create something from dust or rubbish, I could do it.It was an unbelievably freeing feeling, especially for someone coming from a home where there was almost no freedom.

我為什麼要把自己限制在二維的世界裡,我可以用任何事物來創作藝術不是嗎?我可以用水、火,甚至人的身體本身。作為一個藝術家,要有絕對的自由。如果我想用塵土、用垃圾來創作,我就可以。這一覺醒讓我獲得了難以置信的自由,尤其是對於我這樣一個出身於幾乎毫無自由可言的的家庭。

I had experienced absolute freedom—I had felt that my body was without boundaries, limitless; that pain didn』t matter, that nothing mattered at all—and it intoxicated me. I was drunk from the overwhelming energy that I』d received.That was the moment I knew that I had found my medium. No painting, no object that I could make, could ever give me that kind of feeling, and it was a feeling I knew I would have to seek out, again and again and again.

我經歷了絕對的自由,我感覺我的身體沒有範圍,沒有界限。我意識到疼痛沒什麼大不了的,一切都沒什麼大不了,這種感覺讓我欣喜若狂。我沉醉於我所接受到的一股無比強大的能量中。那一刻我終於找到了屬於我的媒介。我畫的任何一副畫,我創作的任何物件都無法給我如此的震撼,而我知道,這樣的感覺是我需要一次次去追求去尋找的。

(二) 一場驚險的表演

Marina的行為藝術之路並非一帆風順,在她的創作早期,報紙上鋪天蓋地報道著有關她的負面新聞。

他們惡意地嘲笑,說她的所作所為與藝術毫無關聯,說她只是一個裸露癖患者,一個受虐狂,說她應該被關進精神病院。這樣的輿論讓她作出了一個大膽的決定。她把自己的身體作為一件物品交給了觀眾。

1974年,在義大利表演的Rhythm 0《節奏0》是Marina Abramovic?「節奏系列」中最為驚險的行為藝術,也是她最著名的作品之一。

這場表演中,她身穿黑色,面前有張桌子,上面擺放了72件物品,從玫瑰、披肩、羽毛、香水,到鎚子、剪刀、釘子、上膛的手槍。在6個小時里,她只是一件可以任觀眾擺弄的物品,他們可以用這72件物品做任何事。在這場表演中,觀眾才是真正的表演者,其中有人剪開Marina的衣服,有人用刀割破她的脖子吸她的血,有人把玫瑰的刺扎進她的肚子,還有人把槍對準她的太陽穴,在試圖扣動扳機時被人阻攔。最後表演結束,滿身傷痕半裸著身體的Marina走向了這些觀眾,他們嚇得四處逃竄,那一刻他們親手創作的這件「物品」又重新活了起來,那一刻他們才意識到自己剛才正在對一個活人施加傷害。

Human beings are afraid of very simple things: we fear suffering, we fear mortality. What I was doing in Rhythm 0 was staging these fears for the audience: using their energy to push my body as far as possible. In the process, I liberated myself from my fears. And as this happened,I became a mirror for the audience—if I could do it, they could do it, too.

人類總是會恐懼一系列看似簡單的事情,我們恐懼痛苦,恐懼死亡。在這場表演中,我所坐的事情,就是籌劃觀眾們內心的恐懼,用他們的能量把我的身體逼到極限。在整個過程中,我從恐懼中解放了。而與此同時,我變成了面對觀眾的一面鏡子,如果我可以解放恐懼,那他們也可以。

(三) 愛情----Ulay

An artist should avoid falling in love with another artist.

一個藝術家不該愛上另一個藝術家。

這是Marina給自己的藝術宣言,但是她卻未能做到。

1975年,Marina 29歲生日那天,收到阿姆斯特丹一家電視台的邀請。到了機場,來接她的人同樣是一位藝術家,用一根筷子盤著頭髮,樣貌十分獨特。後來得知他與Marina竟同一天生日,大Marina三歲。他的名字叫Ulay。 他們深深地相愛了。

From the start, we breathed the same air; our hearts beat as one.We would finish each other』s sentences, each knowing exactly what the other had in mind, even in our sleep: we had conversations in dreams and half dreams, then woke up and continued them. If I hurt my finger on the left side, he would hurt his finger on the right side.This man was everything I wanted, and I knew he felt the same about me.

從一開始,我們呼吸著相同的空氣,我們的心臟一起跳動。我們可以接彼此的下半句話,完完全全知道對方在想什麼,甚至是做夢的時候,我們都可以在夢裡對話,夢醒之後繼續對話。如果我不小心傷到了左手的手指,他就會不小心傷到右手手指。他是我所夢想的一切,我知道他對我也是有同感的。

接下來的三年里,二人過上了漫無目的流浪的生活。

他們在義大利撒丁島的一個小村莊里給人做勞工,早晨5點起床擠羊奶,一早上要擠兩百多隻羊,作為交換,當地農民會給他們麵包,乳酪和香腸。 他們還會送羊毛,Marina用它來織毛衣。

We were happy—so happy that it』s hard to describe. I felt we were really the happiest people in the world.We had next to nothing, almost no money, and we were going wherever the wind blew us.

我們是多麼快樂啊,快樂得無法言喻。我只覺得我是這世上最幸福的人。我們一無所有,身無分文,風把我們吹向哪兒,我們就去哪兒。

1980年,我們計划去中國的長城,我們各自從長城兩端出發,在中間相遇,而在我們相遇的那一刻,我們就結婚。我們把這項計劃取名「情人—長城」

後來的日子裡,彼此深愛的Marina和Ulay合作了許多著名作品,但Marina對藝術的熱愛和執著註定她無法過柴米油鹽的家庭生活。

I had no intention of ever starting a family—I simply could not reconcile fully being an artist with being a mother, too.

我沒有組建家庭的計劃,單純只是因為我無法在做一個藝術家的同時,又做一個母親。

1988年,「情人—長城」計劃提出後的第八年,Marina和Ulay決定實現這個計劃,以此終結二人的合作和戀情。那年6月27日,Marina從位於渤海之濱的山海關出發,延長城自東往西行走;Ulay則從嘉峪關開始自西向東行走,歷時3個月,總計行程超過4000公里。最後二位在位於山西省的二郎山會和,這段曠世戀情落下帷幕。

(四) 母親

Marina的母親曾多次為國立功,是國家的英雄。多年之後,母親同意接受Marina的採訪,錄製一段視頻。

鏡頭後的我坐在黑暗處,問出了多年來一直想問的一句話:「Why did you never kiss me?」你為什麼從來都未曾親吻過我?

她臉上露出驚訝的表情,問:「Why, I didn』t want to spoil you, of course.」 怎麼了?我當然是不想寵壞你啊。

我問她是否恐懼死亡。她微笑著說:「I』m not afraid of death. Our presence in this world is only temporary.I think that it』s beautiful to die on your feet, out of bed, without being ill.」 我不怕死。我們活在這世上其實轉瞬即逝。我覺得站著死亡是很優美的一件事,不想病死在床上。

2007年8月3日,母親終究還是在病床上去世了,我看著已經離去的母親,她張著嘴,像是在責備我。我緊握著她的手,那是一種無法形容的冰冷。

我到她的公寓,看到了她的日記本,裡面的文字如此令人心碎。有一篇寫道:

If animals live a long time together, they start loving each other. But people start hating each other.

如果動物在一起生活很長一段時間,他們會相愛。但人們一起久了便會生恨。

這句話徹底震撼了我,我想,她講的除了和父親的關係,還有和我之間的關係吧。

在葬禮上,心痛不已的Marina對母親說:

My dear, honest, proud, heroic mother. I didn』t understand you as a child. I didn』t understand you as an adult until now,in my sixtieth year of life, you started shining in the full light like a sun that suddenly appeared behind gray clouds after rain.You never, ever complained, either of loneliness or of pain. You raised me with a strong hand, without much gentleness, so as to make me strong and independent.

我親愛的、正直的、驕傲的、英勇的母親,小時候我不懂你,長大後我還是不懂你,直到現在我六十歲了,突然間,你像雨後那撥開烏雲的太陽,綻放出了最美麗的光芒。你從不抱怨,無論你的生活多麼孤獨,多麼痛苦。你待我並不溫和,因為希望我能像你一樣堅強、獨立。

Today we are only putting your body in the grave, and not your soul. Your soul is not carrying any luggage on its journey.Somebody once said that life is a dream, an illusion, and death is the awakening.My dear, only mother, I wish your body eternal rest and your soul a very happy, long journey.

今天我們放入墓中的,只是你的身體,新的旅程中你的靈魂無需任何羈絆。有人說活著不過是夢幻一場,而死亡才是真正的覺醒。我最親愛的母親,我希望你的身體安息,而你的靈魂已踏上一條快樂幸福的長路。

(五) 轟動世界的表演

The Artist Is Present

2010年3月14日,Marina Abramovic?在紐約的MoMA展廳里,舉行了一場轟動世界的表演The Artist Is Present。她每天坐在桌子的一端,另一端則是自願坐到對面的觀眾。他們想坐多久都可以,在此期間會與Marina彼此注視。

接下來的3個月時間裡,從周一到周六,64歲的Marina每天一動不動坐8個小時,周五坐10個小時,其間不吃不喝不休息,像一座冰雕一樣地坐著。為了完成這場歷時3個月的表演,她花了常人難以想像的時間和精力訓練自己的身體機能,成功做到每天不吃午飯,一整天不上廁所,一整天保持同一姿勢紋絲不動。

During The Artist Is Present, the relationship was one-on-one. I was there, one hundred percent for each person. And I became extremely receptive. I felt I understood the state of mind Van Gogh achieved when he painted his paintings. When he painted the lightness of air. I felt I could see, around each person sitting across from me, the same little particles of energy that he saw. Very early on I realized the most amazing thing:every single person sitting in that chair across from me left a specific kind of energy behind. The person left; the energy stayed.

《藝術家在現場》這場表演讓我們變成了一對一的關係,我全程給予每個人百分之百的關注。我的感官開始變得極度敏銳。我感覺自己似乎理解了梵高作畫時那種狀態。他畫得出空氣的輕盈,而我似乎也像他一樣,看得見每個坐在我對面的人周圍那些微小的能量粒子。在很早的時候我就意識到了最神奇的一件事情:每個坐在我對面之後離開座位的人都會留下一種特殊的能量。人離開了,但能量還在。

(六) 我是一面鏡子

照進人們痛苦的內心

From the beginning, people were in tears—and so wasI. Was I a mirror? It felt like more than that. I could see and feel people』s pain.

從一開始,與我注視的很多人都會落淚,我也隨之落淚。我是他們的一面鏡子嗎?我感覺不僅如此。我還可以看到並感受到他們的痛苦。

I think people were surprised by the pain that welled up in them.For one thing, I don』t think people ever really look into themselves. We all try, as much as possible, to avoid confrontation. But this situation was profoundly different. First you wait for hours just to sit in front of me. Now you』re sitting in front of me.You are observed by the public. You are filmed and photographed. You are observed by me. There is nowhere to go except into yourself.And that』s the thing. People have so much pain, and we』re all always trying to push it down. And if you push down emotional pain for long enough, it becomes physical pain.

我覺得人們會因他們內心深處湧出的痛苦而驚訝萬分。一方面,我認為人們都不曾真正審視自己的內心。我們都會儘可能避免直視它。但在這裡,情況卻迥然不同。一開始你會排隊幾個小時就為了坐在我對面。現在你正坐在我面前,你被觀眾們注視著,你被錄像機拍攝著,你被我觀察著。你除了走向自己內心深處,別無去處。你無路可逃。然後這一幕就發生了。人們有太多的痛苦,但我們總是想方設法將它壓下去,將它埋起來。而如果你將情感的痛苦積壓在心裡太久,它就會開始轉化為身體的痛苦。

During the final month, as this piece became one with life itself, I started to think intensely about the purpose of my existence.Eight hundred fifty thousand people in all had stood in the atrium, seventeen thousand on the final day alone. And I was there for everyone there, whether they sat with me or not.

在最後一個月里,隨著這場活動已經有了它自己的生命,我開始深深地思考我活著的意義。八十五萬人曾站到了這個展廳里,僅最後一天就來了一萬七千人。不管他們是否坐在了我的對面,我都曾為他們而在。

The sheer quantity of love, the unconditional love of total strangers, was the most incredible feeling I』ve ever had.I don』t know if this is art. I don』t know what this is, or what art is. I』d always thought of art as something that was expressed through certain tools: painting, sculpture, photography, writing, film, music, architecture. And yes, performance. But this performance went beyond performance. This was life.Could art, should art, be isolated from life? I began to feel more and more strongly that art must be life—it must belong to everybody. I felt, more powerfully than ever, that what I had created had a purpose.

那些素不相識的陌生人,他們無數的、無條件的愛,是我獲得的最美妙的東西了。我不知道這是不是藝術,我也不知道這是什麼,或者藝術是什麼。我以前一直以為藝術就是通過某些工具表達出來的事物,像油畫、雕塑、攝影、寫作、電影、音樂、建築,當然,還有行為表演。但這場行為表演遠遠超越了其本身的意義。這就是生活。藝術難道可以,或應該離開生活而單獨存在嗎?我越來越開始強烈地體會到:藝術必須是生活本身,藝術必須屬於每一個人。我前所未有的意識到我創作的東西有了它自己的目的。

背景音樂

Dorian -- AgnesDustin Obel

Stone-- AgnesDustin Obel

Familiar-- AgnesDustin Obel

Septmber Song-- AgnesDustin Obel

參考

Walk Through Walls - Marina Abramovic?

瑪麗娜·阿布拉莫維奇回憶錄

(本篇Melody譯)


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