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如何寫出「自殺式」英文郵件,在線等,挺急的

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發了幾千封Cold Email

點擊發送後便杳無音信,石沉大海?

一位花旗的VP評價自己收到的Cold Email:只有10%的Cold Email沒有任何錯誤,表達清晰,內容明了的;而一半以上的人根本不知所云

英文郵件寫作對於求職的重要性無需多言

今天Uni醬就來和你聊一聊

常見的英文郵件寫作誤區

以及正確的寫作模板

1.英文郵件中常踩的坑

1

奇怪的語氣

英文當中文講

很多咱中國童鞋寫的郵件都是拿中文裡的語氣直接翻譯過來的,寫在英文里就很奇怪。

例如:

I applied for the Summer Analyst position at your company"s New York office and still haven』t gotten any notice from you. Your company has been my dream employer for years, so it would be a pity if I didn』t have a chance to interview with your company.

看到這裡立刻能腦補一個畫面:一個中國童鞋一臉虔誠的說「我真的特別喜歡你們公司,如果沒能跟你們公司面試真的是太遺憾了!」

這話中文聽著多有誠意啊,但直接翻譯成英文就覺得超級無敵囧。如果你想表達相似的意思,不妨試試這麼說:

I wanted to follow-up with you because I have not yet heard back regarding my application status. Your company is my first choice, so I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to interview with your team.

這樣說比較符合美國的書面郵件說法,而且顯得很淡定。

命令的語氣

很多同學在郵件里附上自己簡歷之後會扔一句「Please review my resume」給我,感覺跟大老闆扔了一沓兒材料在我臉上似的。下次換個客氣一點的語氣好嗎?比如這樣:

I would greatly appreciate any advice you have on refining my resume for opportunities in this field.

2

要命的語法錯誤

我這裡說的是最最最普通的語法錯誤,拎個小學生過來都能挑出來一籮筐那種。

例如:

Hi : I found your contact information from alumni directory. Pleaseallow me introducing myself firstly.My name is XXX, MSF student from University of YYY. I will graduate from my Master degree from University of YYYwith major in Finance. I`m seeking forentry-level position in finance industry. May I know whether your company hasopening positions or has plan to recruit in your group? Thanks for your time. I`mlooking forward to hearfrom you soon.

(紅色部分是小編找出來的幾個錯誤)

我可以很負責任的告訴你,大多數美國的HR或者職場人收到這封郵件的人都會直接忽略的。原因就是那些無謂的語法錯誤。

好多童鞋覺得這些都是小事,不就是少了個a,to do換成doing,怎麼那麼矯情,能看懂意思不就完了嗎?對於求職來講,只要簡歷滿足要求,不會有人在意這些小細節的。但是多數HR或者職場人士看到這個檔次的郵件就直接pass了,簡歷都不會打開看一眼的。這麼短一封郵件,你完全可以查到100%無錯誤再發。

你對自己求職都這麼不上心,我怎麼指望你給我工作更上心?

3

請端住你的Professional范兒

好多女生寫郵件很可愛,會很激烈的表達自己很激動的心情,比如會寫什麼「I feel so lucky to find you to talk! I have hope again!!!…「一堆感嘆號看的人三滴汗。其實完全可以淡定的寫成I am excited to connect with you就足夠表達你的心情了。感嘆號也盡量少用,用多了感覺你還是個熱血少年,不是職場中人。

再有就是一定要避免用^^ T_T或者~~之類的聊天經常用的表情。如果寫給朋友倒沒什麼大問題。如果你是寫給職場上的人,這些都是挺不專業的,讓人覺得你不夠成熟。

4

郵件內容太長

給職場中人寫英文郵件(尤其是為了找工作找實習跟素未謀面的人聯繫),切忌太長。

對於求職郵件(比如networking發給校友的郵件)這裡給大家一個準則:如果你的郵件多於10句話,你就不要發了。人家本來就不認識你,如果20秒讀不完你的郵件,不知道你到底要幹嘛,就直接pass了,畢竟大家都很忙。

在求職中很多同學把cover letter當networking郵件發,三大段兒,跟生平似的,把簡歷里的內容重複一遍,一點額外信息都沒有,這又是何必呢?你應該說一些簡歷里說不出來的,比如為什麼想聯繫對方,為什麼對這家公司感興趣。

如何拯救你的英文郵件?

首先應該遵循寫郵件的「3C原則」:

Deliver a Clear message

Use Correct grammar, vocabulary and punctuation

Be Concise

所以3C原則就是clear 清晰,correct 正確,concise 簡明。記住重點在於更有效的傳達信息,而不是用你豐富的辭彙量給對方留下印象,用更簡單的句型和清晰的組織來使你寫的東西更易讀。

1

標題

曾經有調查表明,80%的Cold Email都取決於你的主題。但是

有人不寫主題欄

有的人就寫一個詞:help, Hi, advice

有的人就寫些不知所云的詞:New Things什麼的

也許很多人沒有意識到,Email的標題是很重要的一部分,郵件給對方的第一印象就是透過標題來完成。如果標題沒有內容,看起來像群組垃圾郵件,命運就是直接進入垃圾桶。你想想,自己收到這些主題的郵件,不會當成垃圾郵件直接刪掉嗎?

舉例:

不專業標題:How are you?

專業標題:Introduction: Our Product Offerings for Bright Ideas Imports

不專業標題:Can we work together?

專業標題:Proposal: Bright Ideas Imports—ABC『s Partnership Opportunity

解決方法很簡單,主題欄就在下面這幾個模板裡面選就好了:

[University Name] Student – [Industry Abbreviation, e.g. IB or PE]Internships

[Firm Name] – Summer Internships

[University Name] Student – [Industry Name] Internships

[University Name] student seeking career advice

[Person』s Name] – Referral – [Industry Abbreviation, e.g. IB or PE]Internships

Thanks for your time on [Day]

2

正文

1

親切自然:可以用We就不要用You

每一封email往來,都是你和與收信人之間的交流。很多人以為寫商業email就應該用「生意腔」,於是把本來有感情基礎的email寫得官樣。

把每次email往來當成是跟對方進行了一次交談,只不過交談的介面是email。用我/我們做主詞,這樣才能讓email讀起來熱情、友善,像朋友交談那樣簡單自然,親切又人性化。

官樣e-mail:Your mail has been received.

親切e-mail:I have received your mail.

官樣e-mail:Your complaint is being looked into.

親切e-mail:We are looking into your complaint.

官樣e-mail:You will receive your computer by next week.

親切e-mail:We are happy to have your order. We shipped it by July 21.

2

一針見血:可以清楚就不要模糊

寫email最忌諱文縐縐,要打電話給人就用call,要去拜訪人就說visit,不要刻意用自以為正式但其實意思模模糊糊的字。

模糊字:contact

清楚字:call/write/visit

模糊字:soon

清楚字:by March 15

3

言簡意賅:可以1個字就不要2個

大部份商業人士跟你一樣,每天都要閱讀大量email。所以email一定要寫得簡明扼要。與主題無關或者無助於e-mail目的之內容,請毫不留情的捨棄。

冗長句:The paper jam had the effect of a destructive force onthe copy machine.

精簡句:The paper jam destroyed the copy machine.

冗長句:We have enclosed a brochure which shows further details of manufacture.

精簡句:The enclosed brochure shows further manufacture details.

4

語彙樸實:用對方看得懂的關鍵字

每個行業都有自己的行話,寫email時要確定別人懂不懂你的行話,也盡量不用華麗詞藻。西方人習慣使用樸實的語言。

迂迴句:We look forward to a bright and glorious future of cooperation.

樸實句:We hope to have the opportunity to work with you inthe future.

迂迴句:The choice of exogenous variables in relation tomulti-collinearity is contingent upon the derivations of certain multiple correlation coefficients.

樸實句:Supply determines demand.

5

技巧表達:讓人覺得you』re helpful

同樣一件事說法不同,得到回應就不同,有技巧的說法讓人樂於為你效勞。

拙劣說法:In order to complete the claim you made, simply…

漂亮說法:To complete your transaction,…

拙劣說法:We want to get our check.

漂亮說法:To keep your account in the preferred customer class,send our check for NT$200,000 today.

郵件常用句型

1. 開場白:

Hope you are doing well.

Hope this email finds you well.

Hope all is well.

2. 回復開場白

Further to our conversation earlier, .........

As discussed over the phone, .......

As checked with.....

Thanks for your kind reply.

Thanks for your prompt reply.

Thanks for your kind feedback.

Regarding...

As per my email sent on xxxx

Please help to clarify....

3. 結尾:

We are looking forward to hearing from you.

Many thanks for your support.

Please kindly share us a feedback by today.

FYI: For your information

For your reference

4. 深盼貴公司及早回復:

We are looking forward to hearing from you.

We trust you will share us a feedback at your earliest.

We hope that you could reply us as early as you can.

Please kindly update the status with me.

Please kindly reply at your convenience.

Please help to reply ASAP.

Please share us a feedback as early as possible/ASAP.

Please get back to us by today.

I did not hear from you yet.

A prompt reply would help us greatly.

A prompt reply will be appreciated.

Your prompt reply would be greatly appreciated.

Your prompt attention to this matter would be greatly esteemed.

As the matter is urgent, please try your best.....

5. 回函遲誤, 請見諒:

I apologise for my late reply..

6. 郵件結尾:

Should you have any questions, please let me know.

If you have any questions, please feel free to reach me out.

Your kindly cooperation is much appreciated.

Many thanks in advance.

7. 我會與你保持聯絡,讓你知道實情的進展:

I will keep you posted.

I will keep you in loop.

I will keep you updated.

I"m looping in xxx who is leading..

8. 關於附件attach的用法總結如下:

最常用的就是:please find attached......

I am enclosing...我附上...

Attached here to...附件是關於...

Attached please find the most up-to-date information on/regarding/concerning… 附上關於某某的最新資料…

Attached please find the draft product plan for your review and comment. 附上產品計劃書的草稿,請審查及評價。

We enclose a copy of our latest price list.

隨函寄出我方最新價格表一份。

Enclosed is a copy of our latest price list.

Enclosed please find a copy of ……

Attached please find …

I enclose the evaluation report for your reference.我附加了評估報告供您閱讀。

Attached please find today"s meeting notes.今天的會議記錄在附件里。

9.Email結語總結如下:

親人、愛人、友人:Love/Cheers/Take care

商務場合:Thank You/Yours/Yours Truly/Truly/Sincerely/Sincerely Yours/Yours Sincerely/Regards/Best Regards

當你給陌生人寫信,尤其是請求協助,提出要求或者詢問事項時,Thank You是收尾的好選擇;

Yours or Yours Truly or Truly一般用於你之前見過面的對象

Best or Best Wishes:日常交往或者商務場合都可以用,是一種禮貌的方式;

Sincerely or Sincerely Yours or Yours Sincerely :日常交往,商務往來或者正式文書都可以使用,是標準的結尾方式。如果不確定怎麼結尾署名,就用sincerely;

Regards or Best Regards :如果你和收信人沒有在現實中打過交道,就用這個;

Cordially 在商務談判場合,當信件話題很嚴肅的時候使用。有時,當你和收件人之間有分歧或者衝突的時候,可以使用。

PS: 在正式場合使用一個隨和的結尾並不一定意味著什麼不恰當的事情。有的時候,這樣做可以顯得你很自信,談話很隨和。然而,這樣做之前請了解一下對方是不是喜歡這種隨和的方式。

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——END——

UniCareer整理髮布,責任小編Lynn

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