彆扭老外：上海好吵啊！真煩人，可住得太舒服了不想搬呢

原標題：彆扭老外：上海好吵啊！真煩人，可住得太舒服了不想搬呢

生活在都市，尤其像上海這樣的大城市，周圍難免會有些噪音污染。

只不過……

其實主頁君覺得，相比起其他一些城市的喧囂，「外環以內全天禁鳴喇叭」的上海，已經很安靜了。

但是，日常生活中的噪音絕不僅在道路上。工地開工，居民樓裝修……不說別的，光一個電鑽鑽牆的聲音，就夠讓人痛苦的了。

最近，一枚在上海生活的美國盆友給咱們投稿，抱怨了魔都的各種噪音。

但抱怨之後，他卻又表示：離不開上海啊！

這是咋回事呢？

看看他是怎麼說的吧——

Manav Keeling, the US

Every night around 11 pm, our 40-something downstairs neighbor comes home, cranks up the TV full blast, then starts shout-talking with his wife for the next two hours. He is so loud that I can hear most of his words through the cement that separates us. I don"t dare confront him, because anyone that boorish and inconsiderate is probably not a level-headed person.

每晚11點左右，我們樓下那個 40來歲的鄰居就回來了——把電視音量開到最大，然後開始大聲和他媳婦bb，一bb就是倆小時。聲音真是太吵了……就算隔了水泥牆我都能聽到他說的大部分話。但我又不敢去和他提這事兒，畢竟這人又粗魯又自私，一看就不是個能靜下來聽你說話的主啊！

It gets worse. At 10 pm, the night-shift crew of the massive construction site directly outside my community start up their heavy machinery. It"s a public infrastructure project, which should have registered with the authority, making as much racket as they need to with full impunity.

然後就更慘了。晚上10點，我們小區外面的夜班建築工人開始擂著重型機器幹活了。好吧，這是個公共基建項目，應該是審批過的，而他們為了不受罰也是拼了，搞得呯哩哐啷地動山搖。

Around 3 am on work nights, I"m usually woken up by the wet-fart-sounding mufflers of miscellaneous Maseratis, Ferraris and Lamborghinis zipping by at unlawful speeds along the highway outside. These are the local 20-something tuhao (nouveau riche offspring) returning home after a night of clubbing.

在工作日的夜晚，凌晨3點，各種豪車開始在外面公路上超速狂奔，瑪莎拉蒂、法拉利、蘭博基尼……它們的消聲器吼出放屁般的巨響，每每讓我從睡夢中驚醒。是咯，一群20來歲的中國壕二代們在徹夜泡吧撒歡後，溜著豪車回家了嘛。

On weekend mornings, when everyone should be allowed a respite from the urban cacophony, there"s always someone in my apartment tower who decides to renovate their home. The laborers they hire to strip away the concrete masonry usually start jack-hammering and drilling at 6:30 am.

而周末早晨總該好些了吧？總能讓人在都市的喧囂中喘口氣了吧？呵呵，想多了。反正我這棟樓里總有人會選在這個點翻修房子：施工隊早上6點半開始敲地砸牆，扛著電鑽到處猛鑽。

This, my friends, is an average night for me in Shanghai. I live in the city center, which ironically is quieter than the suburbs, where even more construction projects are currently taking place as the city expands outwards. So I suppose I should be grateful, but honestly sometimes I feel like I"m going mad from all this dissonance.

盆友們，這就是我在上海最普通的一個夜晚了。而更諷刺的是，我住的還是市中心，這裡比郊區還安靜點兒。由於城區不斷擴大，市郊的施工項目還會更多。所以咯，住在市中心的我是不是還得心懷感激？不過講真，有時候我真要被這些呯哩哐啷給弄瘋了！

I understand that progress and development are driving forces behind Shanghai"s successful economy. But when does all the clamorous construction end? I have watched the main boulevard near our apartment community get bulldozed and paved and bulldozed again no less than a dozen times over the past year. Just why? And do my neighbors really need a new living room every spring?

當然，城建的推進和發展是上海經濟繁榮的驅動力，這我可以理解。但是日復一日，這些吵吵嚷嚷的建設啥時才是個頭？就拿我們小區附近那條林蔭道來說，過去一年裡，我已經看著它被鏟開鋪平然後又鏟開、反反覆復十幾次了。這是鬧哪樣？以及，那些動不動要翻修房子的鄰居們，你們真的每年春天都要換個新客廳才舒服么？

I must be an overly sensitive person to take issue with what Shanghai natives have learned to ignore. Maybe I"m acting like an entitled foreigner to get so upset by such things, but I truly cannot fathom how nobody else here minds having to listen to round-the-clock noise. Where"s the outrage, people?

這些事兒貌似本地人早已見怪不怪了。而我可能過於敏感了些，總還被這些事梗著。也許我把自己搞得這麼沮喪，是有點太像個一驚一乍的老外了，但我就不明白了：其他人對這全天候不消停的噪音就壓根不在意？你們這麼佛系？一點也不憤怒么？

I really admire the Chinese for their high levels of tolerance. They seem to be able to put up with anything, whereas expats like myself have prima-donna complexes. Reminds me of an online meme called "First World Problems," which shows a stock photo of a white woman suffering from a headache superimposed with sarcastic captions such as "I can"t decide what to wear from my 200 outfits" and "I need to use the toilet, but my maid is still cleaning it."

中國人的容忍度很高，這我真的很欽佩。他們似乎能忍受任何事情，不像我這種歪果仁彷彿跟戲精附體了似的。我不由想起了一個名叫「第一世界難題」的表情包，上面是一個白人女性在頭疼，邊上配文「200套衣服我到底該穿哪套？」或者「我要上洗手間了，可是傭人還在打掃哎！」這類欠揍的句子。哎呦喂，何不食肉糜！

I could make a new meme for myself saying, "Shanghai is too noisy, but I live too comfortably to be motivated to do anything about it."

這種表情包我也能給自己做一個啊：「上海太吵了，但是我在這過得太舒服了，舒服到懶得去介意了呢。」

Because, really, my problem with this city"s noise is indeed first-world. As a foreign resident here, I enjoy all of Shanghai"s modern infrastructure, such as its rapidly expanding and upgrading subway network, it"s smooth, clean streets, it"s space-aged skyscrapers, ample parks and green spaces and an abundance of luxury shopping malls. Each of these things required large construction projects and plenty of noise in their making. It might have cost us some sleep, but everyone agrees that it was worth it to transform Shanghai into the modern metropolis it has become in just the past couple of decades.

因為，真的，我抱怨上海的噪音問題，這還真屬於「第一世界」的範疇了。作為一枚外國居民，我享受著上海現代化的基礎設施、四通八達（且還在不斷擴大）的地鐵網路、乾淨整潔的街道、直衝雲霄的大廈、無處不在的公園綠地、豐富的奢侈品購物商場……它們能出現在我的周圍，無一不是經歷過大量工程建設與噪音的磨礪。雖然這一過程有些影響睡眠，但它能將上海在短短几十年間蛻變為現代化的大都市。兩相權衡，得失利弊，不言自明。

To its credit, Shanghai recognizes its noise pollution problem. Jiefang Daily reported Tuesday that Shanghai Academy of Environmental Sciences has developed the first "urban noise map" management system, which pinpoints the sources of noise within the city"s inner ring.

更何況，值得稱讚的是，上海已經意識到了自己的噪音污染問題。周二《解放日報》 報道稱，上海環境科學研究所已經研發了第一份「城市噪音地圖」管理系統，能精確查出內環以內的噪音來源。

As for rude neighbors or apartment renovations at ungodly hours, after some research I learned that between 6 pm and 8 am are Shanghai"s official hours for peace and quiet. For anyone jack-hammering before or after that, you can anonymously call hot line 12369 with their address and apartment number, and local authorities will promptly resolve your complaint.

至於那些喜歡挑荒唐的時間段來修整屋子的鄰居們，我又做了一番研究：在上海，下午6點到第二天早上8點是不允許施工作業的。誰要是在這個時間段內搞事，你可以匿名打12369熱線，舉報對方的地址和房間號，相關部門會立即來幫你處理問題噠！

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