就算長痘又何妨

青春年少時，相信誰都不可避免地長過痘痘吧？當痘痘悄然而至甚至「紛至沓來」，霸佔了你臉部的「一方凈土」時，你會不忍直視它們嗎？你會無比在意、不願見人嗎？其實，痘痘本沒有那麼可怕，就看你如何看待它。本文的主人公就是一位內心越來越強大的戰「痘」者，一起來看看他是如何在戰「痘」之路上成長的吧！

At some point in the past year I developed a habit of avoiding mirrors. It was gradual and subconscious, but eventually it rooted itself in my mind.

從去年的某個時候開始，我逐漸養成了不願照鏡子的習慣。這個習慣起初是無意識地慢慢形成的，但最終，它在我的頭腦里扎了根。

Ultimately, I had an encounter with my reflection while washing my hands in a restaurant bathroom. It became apparent then what had driven me away from looking at myself . . . I had The Reds.

終於有一天，當我在一家餐廳的洗手間洗手時，我無意中看到了鏡中的自己。令我一直無法直視自己的原因這下子清楚了——我長了大紅包。

Some might refer to The Reds aspimplesoracne, but mine were not your everyman』s pimples; what I was dealing with here were erupting lumps of flesh. Flaming red, no less. While other kids were poppingzitsafter a week, I was nursing mine to 「calm down a bit」, as my mother put it. The chance of them actually disappearing was almost laughable; my only hope was that they might just 「take it down a notch」 and level out to where my forehead skin usually rests.

有的人也許會把這些大紅包叫做粉刺或痤瘡，不過，我長的這些包可跟你們一般人長的粉刺不一樣。我要對付的是一大片一大片冒出的腫塊，而且它們居然是鮮紅色的。當別的孩子一周後就能把膿皰擠掉時，我的包在我的精心照顧之下只是變得——用我媽媽的話說——「平靜了一些」。想讓它們真真正正地消失幾乎是個笑話，我唯一的希望是它們可以那麼「稍加收斂一下」，平復到我的額頭皮膚本來的高度。

pimple[?p?mpl] n. 【醫】丘疹；粉刺；小膿皰

acne[??kni] n. 【醫】痤瘡，粉刺

zit[z?t] n. 小丘皰；丘疹

take sb. down a notch: 壓低某人的氣焰

Looking at myself in the restroom mirror only confirmed what I should have accepted long ago. My brothers had already taken up the duty of attacking me with comments such as 「Ooh, I see Mt. Kilimanjaro is peaking mighty high up there on your forehead.」 How funny. Soon enough my forehead hosted what appeared to be the world』s highest mountains: Everest,Kanchenjunga,McKinley. Each had a spot on my face to call its own. Somewhere deep down, I felt as if I had a vested interest in each and every one of them. If I was going to endure comments about how I should wash my face and quit eating greasy foods which, I might note, does not stop acne, at least I could become a bit more intimate with the temporary guests on my forehead.

看著洗手間鏡子里的自己只是證實了我早就該承認的事實。我的兄弟們早已將打擊我視為己任，比如他們會評論說：「嗬，我看見乞力馬扎羅山在你的腦門上冒得好高好高吶。」真好笑。沒用多久，我的腦門上看起來就好像是世界最高峰都來安家了一樣，有珠穆朗瑪峰、干城章嘉峰、麥金利峰。每座高峰都在我的臉上有自己名下的一個包。在我心底的某個角落，我覺得自己似乎跟這些包中的每一個都息息相關。對於我該怎麼洗臉以及戒掉油膩食品這類的意見(我要指出，這麼做並不能預防粉刺)，如果我打算去忍受，那對腦門上的這些臨時來客我至少可以表現得更親近一點。

Kanchenjunga: 干城章嘉峰，世界第三大高峰，位於喜馬拉雅山脈中段尼泊爾及印度邊界處

McKinley: 麥金利峰，北美洲最高峰，位於美國阿拉斯加州東南部。

I found myself staring at each pimple in the morning, mentally recording its growth and even applauding its development. I applauded more, of course, if it decreased its size in some rare butlaudableact. Either way, friends and strangers were always willing to lend their tips and support. It was as if the citizens of my town had become overnight experts ondermatology. They spoke in acoy)and indirect manner as if to avoid hurting feelings or sounding cruel: 「What do you know about witch hazel? I hear it does wonders for skin. Not that I』m saying you should use it, just telling you what I heard.」

我發現自己會在早上端詳每一個痘痘，並在心裡記下它們的成長狀況，甚至為它們的長勢叫好。當然，如果它們難得地變小了一點(這令人稱道)，我會更加大聲叫好。不管怎樣，朋友們和陌生人都總是樂意為我提供他們的小竅門，送上他們的支持。彷彿我們鎮上的居民一夜之間就都搖身一變成了皮膚專家。他們羞澀而婉轉地對我說(好像是為了避免傷害我的感情或避免讓自己顯得太冷酷似的)：「你對金縷梅酊劑了不了解？我聽說它對皮膚問題有奇效。我可不是說你應該用它，只是告訴你我聽說的哈。」

laudable[?l??d?bl] adj. 值得讚美的，值得稱讚的

dermatology[?d??m??t?l?d?i] n. 【醫】皮膚病學

coy[k??] adj. 羞羞答答的；忸怩作態的

GIF

What they didn』t understand was that The Reds are like some sort of advancedtuberculosis, resistant to drugs, able to change and thrive in any environment. The Reds don』t just react to skin-care products. They act. If I ever did find an effective face wash, I soon realized that focusing on my forehead only caused a newflare-upon my cheek. Focus on scraping the face wash on my cheek, and the corner of my lip would bulge with a redwelt, bigger than any I』d ever seen. When I thought I had my whole face covered, bumps formed beneath my eyebrows. The Reds were innovativeagentsof change, willing to go wherever a temporarily potent face wash forced them to go.

他們不明白的是，這些大紅包就像是某種晚期結核病一樣，具有抗藥性，能夠變化並在任何環境下茁壯成長。對於護膚產品，這些大紅包不只是做出反應，它們會採取行動。即使我真的找到了一種管用的洗面乳，我也很快就會發現，把精力全部放在腦門上只會導致我的臉上突然泛起一片新的紅包。我忙著用洗面乳使勁去洗臉，可嘴角上又會腫起一個大到前所未見的紅疙瘩。當我以為自己已經把臉上的每個地方都照顧到了時，我的眉毛下邊又鼓起了一堆腫包。這些大紅包富於創新、靈活善變，願意前往暫時見效的洗面乳將它們驅往的任何地方。

tuberculosis[tju??b??kju?l??s?s] n. 【醫】結核病；肺結核

flare-up[?fle?(r)??p] n. (疾病等的)突然發作(或加劇)；(尤指)複發

welt[welt] n. (撞擊或擦傷所致的)紅腫；傷痕

agent[?e?d??nt] n. 原動力，動因(指對事態起重要作用的人或事物)

Sometimes I thought about my dad』s situation. Before I was born, he developed skin cancer, which was successfully removed during a long, drawn-out surgery. Unfortunately, the procedure left him with a massive scar across his cheek. Of course, I never paid any attention to it, living with him and all, but in large crowds, he drew stares. A conversation with someone and you would soon notice that person listening to him while subconsciously itching or rubbing the side of their face, a constant reminder as to where their mind really was in the exchange. On a smaller scale, I noticed the same traits in people I encountered. While we started out speaking eye to eye, we ended up speaking eye to forehead, their gaze getting higher and higher.

有時我會想到爸爸的情況。他在我出生之前得了皮膚癌，經過一台極其漫長的手術，病灶被成功切除了。遺憾的是，那次手術在他臉上留下了一道大大的傷疤。當然，由於我們大家一直生活在一起，我從來不會留意他的傷疤，但是在人多的地方，他總會引來旁人的目光。當他跟別人說話時，你很快就會發現，對方一邊在聽他講話，一邊在下意識地去撓撓或是蹭蹭自己的臉，這個動作時刻提醒著你他們的心思在談話過程中其實在哪裡。我在我遇到的那些人身上也發現了同樣的特徵，雖然表現得沒有那麼明顯。談話伊始，我們還能看著彼此的眼睛，可是他們的目光漸漸上移，聊到最後，就盯在我的腦門上了。

Mentioning it only made things that much more awkward. It left me feeling less than human, knowing that my body—my face—was more important than who I was altogether.

提及這一點只會讓場面變得越發尷尬。發現我的身體——我的臉——比我整個人還要重要，這讓我感覺自己低人一等。

But like many teen-centered issues, The Reds would eventually disappear. From Mt. Kilimanjaro on, each mountain toppled over. Some would leave scars from my constant scratching and squeezing, while others departed in a quieter manner, as if they had never erupted in the first place. Either way, I gradually settled with the embarrassment and grief I carried in my own face. The Reds or not, I decided I wouldn』t let them keep me from enjoying the life I wanted to lead.

不過，和許多主要發生在青少年身上的問題一樣，大紅包最終也會退去。從「乞力馬扎羅山」包開始，每座「峰」包都倒下了。有一些包會因為我經常撓、經常擠而留下疤痕，另一些在離去時則更加悄無聲息，彷彿它們從來就沒有冒出來過一樣。不管怎樣，我漸漸地與我的臉帶給我的尷尬和難過達成了和解。不管是大紅包還是別的什麼，我決意不讓它們阻擋我去享受自己想要過的那種生活。

I think back to a trip to Universal Studios with my dad. We sat at a table finishing lunch before we headed toward another line for a ride. He ate casually, but between bites it seemed as if I were the only one aware of the visitors who happened to walk by and make note of his cheek. I leaned in to Dad and expressed my concern. 「I really wish they wouldn』t stare like that. What』s their problem?」 He barely glanced up from his food as he issued his response. 「Who cares? I know I don』t, that much is certain. Let』em stare. Learned that lesson a long time ago.」

我想起了跟爸爸一起去環球影城遊玩的那次經歷。在前去排隊等候玩下一處遊樂設施前，我們坐在一張餐桌旁吃午飯。他漫不經心地吃著，在這期間，彷彿只有我注意到了當那些遊客恰好從我們身邊經過時，他們會留意爸爸的臉頰。我朝爸爸探過身去，表達了我的關心：「我真希望他們別那麼盯著你看。他們是不是有毛病啊？」爸爸幾乎都沒有從將視線他的食物上提高一點兒，就發出了自己的回應：「誰在乎呢？反正我知道我不在乎。讓他們盯著去吧。我早就把這種事兒想明白了。」

Such simple wisdom hit me deep in my heart of hearts. He wasn』t about to let anyone influence how he felt at the given moment. He』s got a scar . . . and it doesn』t even matter, not to him at least. Maybe to the people walking by it did, but to him? Not a chance. When we finished eating, we proceeded to have the time of our lives. Be it my forehead or his cheek, some wouldgawk, others wouldgape, but I can say with the utmost sincerity that we were the last to notice, and the last to care.

如此樸素的智慧令我的內心深感震撼。他不打算讓任何人影響到他在某一時刻的心情。他有道疤……但那根本無關緊要，至少對他而言是這樣的。也許對那些從他身旁經過的人來說這件事很重要，可對他而言呢？完全沒有這種可能。吃完飯後，我們繼續盡情享受時光。無論是我的腦門還是他的臉頰，有的人會獃頭獃腦地盯著看，有的人會目瞪口呆地注視著，不過我可以以最真誠的態度說，我們自己根本沒注意，也根本不在意。

gawk [ɡ??k] vi. 無禮地瞪著眼看；獃頭獃腦地盯著

gape [ɡe?p] vi. 瞠目結舌地注視；目瞪口呆地凝視

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