「尷王」詹姆斯老土搞怪彰顯逗逼一面，小女兒：我不要面子的啊？
LeBron is the GOAT cornball
尬王之王詹姆斯
視頻：詹姆斯模仿動畫人物配音怪叫（15秒）>>http://t.cn/RktAcBA
[–][IND] Myles TurnerTheRealKingofmice 585 指標 20小時前
What the fuck did I just watch
我TM剛看的這是個啥啊。
[–]penny_4_thots 722 指標 19小時前
LeBron eating his wife"s taco
[譯註1]
老詹吃著他妻子給他做的墨西哥卷餅。
[譯註1]Taco除指墨西哥卷餅外，俗語中還有多種意義。
[–]HeatFumby_ 123 指標 14小時前
WELL DAMN
[譯註2]
哎 呦 我 去！
[譯註2]韋德妻子尤尼恩在Ins上發布了一張個人的性感照片，而巴特勒在底下評論：「WELL DAMN」（哎呦我去！）
[–][SAC] De"Aaron FoxBoxcar-Mike 2793 指標 19小時前
when you a father you cornballin" 24/7 my man.
當爹的尬起來真是無時無刻。
[–]Warriorsgervaistweet 1600 指標 18小時前
LeBron is the kind of dad who genuinely just loves being with his kids too, and ain』t afraid to show his inner child at times. Good father and man
勇士球迷：老詹就是那種真的喜歡和自己的孩子們待在一起的父親，也從不介意展現自己內心中孩子氣的一面。他不僅做人優秀，做父親也同樣出色。
[–][GSW] Butch BeardFlyZwodder 1092 指標 16小時前
Yeah fr fuck that guy
勇士球迷：同意樓上，詹姆斯垃圾！??
[–]Grizzliescolinli02 1152 指標 16小時前
micahel JORDAhn would EAT his CHILDREN and DUNKo n their CORPSES
Skip
「如果把詹姆斯換作邁克爾-喬丹，他不但會把自己的小孩蘸醬油吃了，還會在他們的屍體上來個暴力隔扣！」
黑詹能手Skip Bayless如是說道。
[–][ORL] Aaron Gordonsupremehat13 397 指標 19小時前
"Michael Jeffrey Jordan would"ve killed a Shark with his bare hands and eaten it for dinner"
「邁克爾-傑弗里-喬丹能徒手殺死一隻鯊魚，並直接做成當天晚餐吃掉」
[–]Ricktatorship80 209 指標 18小時前
Or MJ would』ve convinced his family it was Tuesday
或者喬老爺子會強行說服他的家人那天是星期二。
[–]MagicGangstaLarry 215 指標 19小時前
I"m about to be a dad in a few months. Can"t wait!!
幾個月之後我也要當爸爸了。迫不及待啦！！
[–][SAC] De"Aaron FoxBoxcar-Mike 276 指標 19小時前
it"s great...but stock up on sleep NOW.
為人父母的感覺是很好……但是你最好趕緊大量儲存下睡眠，立刻馬上開始。
[–]Hornetsnet_403 87 指標 16小時前
My friend has his first, 8 months old.. he used to get drunk and sleep for 12 hours. What an adjustment
我朋友8個月前迎來第一個小生命的降臨……他以前常喝個酩酊大醉再接著連睡12個小時。
這巨大的調整有點突如其來。
[–]EP9 62 指標 11小時前
It』s similar, but instead of sleep, it』s lack of sleep... still feels like being drunk
其實你朋友有小孩前後的生活還挺類似的，除了要把睡得久變成睡不久……但是帶小孩的感覺跟喝醉也挺像的。
[–]Lakersfrozteh 1697 指標 19小時前
Transitioning into embarrassing Dad quite nicely.
湖人球迷：老詹從場上的大殺四方轉變為場下這個土得不行的爹，絲毫沒有違和感嘛。
[–]ooa3603 484 指標 19小時前
when i have kids, my life"s mission will be to embarrass the shit out of them
如果我有了孩子，我的人生目標就是讓他們因為我這個爹而感到丟人至極。
[–]AttackBacon 273 指標 15小時前
God I can"t fucking wait. My wife and I are a year or so out (with any luck!) and I am just counting the days until I get to unleash the dad joke apocalypse on these unsuspecting zygotes.
老天爺我都快要等不及了。我和我老婆預計在一年後生個小寶寶（老天保佑我的小蝌蚪），我現在就在扳著指頭數還要多久，我才能把那些泥石流般的父親專屬冷笑話講給這些一無所知的受精卵聽。
[–]ooa3603 79 指標 11小時前*
right? it"s only fair after all the sleep and energy they"re going to sap from me. reparations must be had
說的就是嘛。畢竟小孩只會剝奪我們的睡眠，榨乾我們的精力。總得從某些方面對我們補償一下才是公平合理的。
[–]AggravatingReturn 51 指標 10小時前
15-years-old is peak embarrassment for them, basically anything you do is embarrassing lol
孩子十五歲的時候是最容易感到丟人的時期，基本上你做的所有事都會讓他們覺得「這爹真給我丟人」。
[–]LakersLEAVEKYRIEALONE 399 指標 18小時前
It"s cute how hard his kids are cheesin and don"t seem embarrassed. LeBron seems like a great dad
湖人球迷：老詹的孩子們都在笑，而不是感到丟人，這還真的挺暖。老詹看上去真是個好爸爸。
[–]JazzNotPornAccount2293 404 指標 17小時前
Imagine being embarrassed to be the child of LeBron James. He could walk me into school in a God damn prom dress and he would still be the coolest parent there ten thousand times over.
做詹姆斯的孩子還有丟人這一說？就算老詹穿著晚禮服裙子陪我走進校園，他依然是比其他家長酷炫一萬倍的存在。
[–]Knicksitsahmemario 99 指標 16小時前
I remember reading an article about Billy Joel"s kids telling him to stop singing which is weird considering how many people would pay good money to hear that man sing....
Of course I"d also pay good money to see Lebron walk someone into school in a god damn prom dress too
我記得以前讀到過一篇文章，講到比利-喬爾
[譯註3]
的孩子們跟他說別再唱歌了。這還真挺奇怪，畢竟有那麼多人會大掏腰包就為了聽這個男人唱首歌……當然如果老詹哪天真穿著晚禮服裙子送小孩去上學，我也會慷慨解囊只為一睹此種奇觀的。
[譯註3]比利-喬爾（Billy Joel）是美國著名歌手、鋼琴演奏家、作曲作詞家
Wait what was my point again? Yeah, most of us don"t see our parents the same way most people do, so it would be somewhat understandable if they acted like a kid would normally if their dad is being a uh... A dad. So it"s cool bronny ain"t trippjn
我想講的重點是什麼來著？哦對了，我們大多數人自己眼裡的家長都和外人看到的不一樣，所以如果老詹的孩子們都作出普通小孩在他們的父親尬到不行時候的那種反應，我們也能理解。而布朗尼並沒有什麼過度的反應，挺好的。
[–]Timberwolvessayqueensbridge 163 指標 19小時前
That distinctly spongebob sound he makes tho
不過這個海綿寶寶的聲音模仿得真像啊。
[–][CHI] Andres NocioniThonMakerKDplusKG 1296 指標 19小時前
Why』s he just been looking like Kimbo Slicethis whole offseason lmaooo
公牛球迷：笑死了，這個休賽季老詹怎麼越看越像Kimbo Slice了。
[譯註4]
[譯註4]Kimbo Slice原名凱文·費格斯，是佛羅里達有名的街頭黑市拳手
[–]TimberwolvesSoupyWolfy 619 指標 13小時前
Cause he moved to LA so now he』s homeless
因為他搬去了洛杉磯，所以現在只好也流落街頭了。
[–][LAL] Metta World PeaceLoneWolfe2 191 指標 12小時前
The rent is too damn high!
湖人球迷：都怪洛杉磯的房租太高啦！
[–]76erslolwarlord 923 指標 19小時前
I love how happy he is with himself
76人球迷：老詹自娛自樂的這種狀態真好。
[–]AggravatingReturn 420 指標 10小時前
Daughter lookin away like "I can"t be associated with this narrative"
小女兒完全不想回頭看他，彷彿在表示：「這事兒和我無關啊千萬別帶上我。」
[–]HeatThatsWat_SHE_Said 162 指標 9小時前
She"s like
內心真實想法如下：
[–]Knicksmrbrinks 77 指標 8小時前
「Find a new slant dad」
[譯註5]
「找個新的黑點吧老爸。」
[譯註5]76人經理科蘭傑洛的小號事件梗：[美國JRs之聲]科蘭傑洛疑似利用小號泄密，美國球迷：這件事對聯盟來說太糟糕了>>
[–]LakersCrayonFox 137 指標 8小時前*
Unlike Kevin Love.
Kevin Love is still sitting in the lockerroom, waiting for LeBron. Every game it has been their ritual. As soon as the 4th quarter ended, he and Bron would hurry off the court, so they could jump into the shower together before their teammates would disturb them.
湖人球迷：不像凱文-樂福哦。
樂福還依然孤單地坐在更衣室里，等著詹姆斯回來。每次賽後他們都會做兩人之間約定俗稱的小慣例。只要終場比賽結束的哨聲一響，他們就迅速離場，在其他隊友來之前衝進淋浴間，享受不被攪擾的時光。
In all their years together, the ritual had only been cancelled a single time, when they played the Golden State Warriors at home. Upon entering, they found Nick Young sleeping in a corner, a white line of coke around him. And in LeBron"s locker they found D"Angelo Russell, on snapchat with Ricky Rubio and Jeremy Lin in a group they had named "Princess Guards".
在一起的那麼多年裡，這個慣例只被打破過一次。那是在主場對陣金州勇士隊的一天。他們正要如往常一樣進入淋浴間的時候，發現了蜷縮在牆角的尼克-楊，地上還有K*粉勾勒出了他身體的輪廓。在老詹的更衣櫃里他們還偶然發現了丹吉洛-拉塞爾，他正在名為「公主騎士團」的群聊里同盧比奧和林書豪發送著內容。
But then one day, Kevin noticed that LeBron had changed his soap to one with avocado scent. A week after that, LeBron brought a smoothie and a joint. Worse, he announced that he was currently avoiding showers in order to rebalance his natural oils.
但是就在某一天，樂福發現老詹悄悄把用的香皂換成了陌生的牛油果香。也不過就是一周之後，詹姆斯就帶著一杯思慕雪，卷著葉*子煙進了更衣室。情況愈發糟糕的是，他還聲稱自己正在盡量避免洗淋浴，以恢復皮膚的天然油脂。
That"s when Kevin knew what was happening. And so he was not surprised when LeBron did not show up after the last game of the playoffs. Only disappointment spread through him, but he pushed it away, his belief in Bron too strong to accept the reality. Since then, he stayed in the lockerroom, and he waited.
直到這時樂福才恍然大悟。所以當季後賽的最後一場比賽結束，淋浴間里沒有老詹熟悉身影的時候，他沒有驚恐萬狀。只是靜靜的悲傷逆流成河，浸透他的全身。但給了他力量從憂愁里掙紮起身的，是他對老詹的耿耿此心，讓他拒絕承認離別的事實。樂福留在了更衣室里，開始了他的守望。一日如此，日日皆然。
His wait only found a single interruption, the day when Tristan Thompson and J.R. Smith showed up. It was mid July, and they had finally found the way from the court to their lockerroom. Kevin was filled with guilt when he followed them into the showers. And he was punished accordingly, suffering from a concussion due to Tristan repeatedly ramming his ball into Kevin"s face. And as if that weren"t bad enough, J.R. had forgotten the soap.
守望的日子裡只來過一次訪客。又是另一天，特里斯坦-湯普森和JR-史密斯出現在了這個地方。七月既望，這兩個迷途的靈魂方才找到了從球場回到更衣室的路。在和他們一起朝淋浴間走去的過程中，樂福內心滿是愧疚。他也得到了相應的懲罰，湯普森朝著樂福臉上不斷地投「蛋」讓他又得了腦震蕩。屋漏偏逢連夜雨，另一旁的JR還忘了帶必需的香皂。
Since that incidence, Kevin has accepted his faith and grown a new shell of resilience. He would wait for LeBron. And if he were to sit here for the rest of time, he would wait. Only Bron was truly deserving of his Love.
那次過後，樂福徹底擁抱了自己的信仰，重裝上陣。他會繼續等待老詹的。就算要他在餘下的生命里都坐在更衣室里，他也會等下去的。只有老詹一個人，才有資格擁有他最好的愛。
[–]PacersScalsThePenguin 107 指標 8小時前
I"m too hungover for this lol
步行者球迷：老哥我這還宿醉未消呢，你的文藝復興太突如其來了
[–][GSW] JaVale McGeeIndianCurry30 188 指標 17小時前
Lebron has entered the stage of his career where he no longer gives a singular FUCK about what anyone thinks and I personally love it
勇士球迷：老詹已經進入到一丁點兒都不會在乎別人看法的階段了。我嘛簡直太喜歡了。
[–]Nichandl 711 指標 20小時前
This is gunna be a chill year for him. I hope he gets some spot up shooting from the corner and shit like that. Man deserves a break
下賽季會是詹姆斯瀟洒划水的一年。我希望他能有一些底角接球投籃之類的表現。老詹理應得到喘息之機。
[–][CLE] Kyrie IrvingVargolol 188 指標 11小時前
Fuck that, I want him to keep averaging a ton of points on the road to the scoring title. He』s not going to be playing a ton of extra games like the past 8 years he』s gone to the finals since the west is so stacked. Don』t LeCoast and go out there and ball the fuck out for funsies and keep chasing those legendary records
騎士球迷：我不同意樓上，我希望他能繼續每場砍下高分，在向歷史得分王衝擊的路上一往無前。西部的強隊實在太多了，所以老詹不會像過去八年那樣依舊挺立在總決賽的舞台上，因此他也不用在常規賽結束後再打多少額外的比賽。希望老詹別划水啦，上場就去干啊。滿足一下我們這些球迷，也繼續向傳奇的歷史記錄發起衝擊。
He gets a break when they get knocked out well before the finals
湖人在總決賽之前肯定早早就被淘汰啦，老詹有的是時間休息。
[–]Celticsatrain56 90 指標 9小時前
Seriously, he should ball the fuck out over like 78 games. Go for it all, DPOY, MVP, fucking MIP. Doesn"t matter.
If he cant win another ring, the next best thing is score like 40K points in his career or something right? One or 2 more MVPs. For me, hardware is hardware.
凱爾特人球迷：講真的，老詹贏放開手去腳打個大概78場比賽。競爭每個個人獎項，不管是最佳防守球員，最有價值球員還是他良的進步最快球員，都可以。
如果老詹沒法再拿一枚冠軍戒指，那他職業生涯下一個重點就是得到4萬分或者類似的總數據方面的突破對吧？再贏下一或兩座MVP獎盃吧。個人看法，榮譽數量才是硬道理。
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