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別讓不好意思毀了你!學學拒絕別人的9個技巧

原標題:別讓不好意思毀了你!學學拒絕別人的9個技巧


你是否覺得很難拒絕別人的請求,但是答應後又覺得後悔?拒絕是一門藝術。現代社會越來越佛系,很多人都不知道如何拒絕他人。但是,學會拒絕非常重要,下面這9個技巧可以幫助我們了解怎樣拒絕別人。


1. Be clear of your vision 明確自己的願景


Think about what your vision is: be it for your life, for your career, for your relationships, or for that particular situation you are dealing with. Once you know it, it』ll be extremely easy to say no, because now you have a clear reason to do so. The clearer you are (of your vision), the easier it will be to say no, because now you will know what you want to say yes to.


想想自己的願景:無論是生活、事業、人際關係還是正在處理的具體情況。一旦清楚了自己期望的願景,拒絕就會變得容易,因為有了明確的理由。對自己的願景越明確,越容易說「不」,因為清楚自己想要說「是」的東西。


2. Know the implications of saying yes 明白同意的影響

We normally say yes to the little requests streaming in because it may seem like a small deal. Yet, these little moments pile up over time to become big clogs.


我們通常會對源源不斷地小請求說「是」,因為這可能看起來像是小問題。幫個小忙似乎沒什麼問題,也花不了多少時間。然而,隨著時間的推移,這些小問題會堆積起來。


Whenever you get a request, think twice before you say yes or no. What』s going to happen if you say yes to it? What are the long-term implications? What is there to gain? What are you going to lose if you agree? Do you really have to say yes? I believe that time is more precious than money, because while you can earn back money, you can never get back time. Because of that, I really value my time.


每當我們收到請求時,回答之前請再三思考。如果答應了會發生什麼?長期影響是什麼?有什麼好處?如果答應了,會失去什麼?是不是必須要同意?我們的時間比金錢更寶貴,因為時間永遠也賺不回來,所以一定要珍惜自己的時間。


3. Realize that saying no is okay 意識到拒絕也可以

Saying no is okay. We keep thinking that it』s not okay, that the other person will feel bad, that we』re being evil, that people will be angry, that we』re being rude, etc. While these stem from good intentions in us, the thing is most of these fears are self-created. If the person is open-minded, he/she will understand when you say no.


拒絕也是可以的。我們總是認為拒絕不好,被我們拒絕的人會難過、生氣,我們可能會有點討厭或者無理了。但其實這些恐懼源於我們內心的善意,事實是,這些恐懼大多是自己造成的。如果對方思想開放,一定會理解我們的拒絕。


Saying no is okay and it』s part and parcel of life. People say yes and no all the time every day in this world. So don』t worry about it. Being respectful in your communication is more important.


拒絕也是可以的,而且這是生活的一部分。世界上每分每秒都有人在答應和拒絕,所以不用擔心,在交流中保持尊重更重要。


4. Keep it simple 保持簡單


Keep it simple – let the person know that you can』t do it, and give a short explanation why you』re saying no. There』s no need to over-explain. If there are certain things which you』re open to discuss/negotiate on, put them up for discussion here.


保持簡單,讓對方知道你做不了,簡單解釋一下原因。沒有必要過分解釋。如果有需要討論或協商的事情,也請一起討論。


5. Be respectful 有禮貌

Many don』t say no because they feel it』s disrespectful, however it』s about how you say it rather than the act of saying no. Be respectful in your reply, value the other party』s stance and you』ll be fine.


很多人不會說「不」,因為他們覺得這是不禮貌的。但這主要事關拒絕的方式而非拒絕本身。回復的時候要有禮貌,重視對方的立場。


6.Provide an alternative if you want 提出替代方案


If you like, propose an alternative.If you don』t think you』re the right person for the request, then propose someone whom you think is a better fit. If you』re not free to be engaged at the moment but you』d like to be involved, then propose an alternate timing where you are free. If there』s something you think is an issue, then point it out so you can help him/her improve.


如果願意,可以提出替代方案。如果認為自己不是這個請求的合適人選,可以提出一個自己認為更合適的人選。如果有意願但是現在沒時間,可以提議自己有空的時間。如果覺得有什麼問題,可以指出來幫助對方改進。


7. Make yourself less accessible 讓自己不容易接近



If you face the situation where too many people keep asking you for help and it』s just overwhelming you, make yourself less accessible. Don』t respond immediately to every single request, because it just sends the message that you』re always around all the time for help, which may not be true. Instead take a longer time to revert, be more concise with your replies, and limit your availability. This way, others will value your time more.


如果你面對的情況是太多人不斷向自己尋求幫助,變得不堪重負,可以試著讓自己不那麼容易接近。不要對每一個請求都立即回應,因為這是在傳遞一個信息,那就是你隨時都有時間幫忙,而事實可能並非如此。與花更長時間回復相比,回復應該要更簡潔,同時限制自己的可接近性。這樣,別人會更珍惜你的時間。


8. Delay your response 推遲回復


If you』re not keen on the request, delaying your reply is a way of showing lack of interest. By then the other party would know that you are not very keen, and they would not be so persistent in their responses as well.


如果你對這個請求不感興趣,推遲回復也是一種表示不感興趣的方式。那時,對方就會知道,你不是很感興趣,也就不會再那麼執著。


9. Sometimes, no reply is also a form of reply 不回復也是一種回復


If a particular request isn』t important to you and you』re stretched for time, don』t worry too much about it. Life goes on for everyone. But if the person took some time to write a personal, customized message, it』ll be nice to just send a short note to say no so you don』t leave the person hanging. If you have already said no and the person still persists, then not replying is the way to go.


如果某個要求對你來說並不重要,而且你的時間很緊張,不要太擔心。每個人的生活都在繼續。但是,如果對方花時間專門向你提出請求,簡短地拒絕即可,這樣也沒有把對方晾在一邊。如果你已經拒絕了,但是對方仍然在堅持,那麼不回復就是最好的解決方法。


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