冷知識：你的缺點比你想像中的更有吸引力！
暴露缺點？
我們都想要在別人的面前展示出自己最好的一面，盡量將自己的缺陷隱藏起來。
但是你知道嗎？有科學家證實，如果一個平時表現出色的人偶爾展現出了自己的缺點或者不完美，反而會讓其他人產生同情、覺得親切，進一步增加他的魅力。
比如很多女生都喜歡的人氣偶像「小綿羊」張藝興，外表帥氣、舞蹈迷人，但私下卻嘴巴笨笨的、總是搞不清楚狀況，這種「反差萌」卻引來更多粉絲的喜愛。
再比如，那個平時穿著優雅、盡心儘力工作的女神姐姐突然不小心打翻了咖啡，她手忙腳亂的樣子不但不惹人厭煩，甚至還讓人覺得有點可愛？
在英文中，這種美麗的缺點叫做「Beautiful messes」，它可是具有相當大的吸引力哦！一起來看看這篇有趣的科普文章吧！
Your Flaws Are Probably More Attractive Than You Think They Are
你的缺點可能比你想像的更有吸引力
Over the past year, visitors to the Rubin Museum of Art in New York City have been revealing their deepest fears and wishes. As part of a special exhibit, museum-goers were invited to write down their secrets on small pieces of vellum paper and hang the entries on a wall for everyone to see.
在過去的一整年裡，來紐約魯賓藝術博物館參觀的遊客不斷地展示著他們內心深處的恐懼與希望。作為一個特別展覽的一部分，參觀者們被邀請在一小片牛皮紙上寫下他們的秘密，而這些紙片被貼在入口處的牆上，讓所有人都能看到。
On one side, people posted their anxieties; on the other side, their hopes. Thousands of visitors contributed lines like, 「I"m anxious because I"m afraid I"ll die alone,」 「I"m anxious because I might miss my chance to become a mom,」 and 「I"m hopeful because life is beautiful and I will feel happy soon.」
在紙張的正面，人們寫下了他們的焦慮；在另一面，是他們的願望。成千上萬個遊客寫下了類似這樣的句子：我很焦慮，因為我害怕自己會孤獨終老。」「我很焦慮，因為我可能沒法成為媽媽了。」以及這樣的句子，「我內心充滿著希望，因為生命如此美好，我很快就會感受到快樂。」
This exhibit, A Monument for the Anxious and Hopeful, which was on view from February 2018 until earlier this week, was a catalog of anonymous confessions, a place where people willingly exposed their weaknesses and flaws:
而這個展覽，名叫「焦慮和希望的紀念碑」，從2018年2月開始，一直展出到本周的早些時候。這是一個完全匿名的記錄，人們根據自己的意願選擇在這裡展示出自己的弱點和缺陷：
I"m anxious because I don"t have a home for my boys.
我很焦慮，因為我沒法給我們的孩子一個家。
I"ve relapsed three times since trying to become sober.
自從我開始戒酒以來，我已經破戒三次了。
I feel like I disappoint everyone in my life.
我覺得我讓生活中的每個人都失望了。
These more than 50,000 entries expressed thoughts that many people wouldn"t otherwise share publicly due to fear of rejection and shame. But psychological research suggests that such fear can be overblown in people"s minds. Often, there"s a mismatch between how people perceive their vulnerabilities and how others interpret them.
這5萬多個紙條顯示了很多因為害怕被拒絕或是羞愧而不願意公開分享的想法。但心理學研究表明，人們的這種（對自己缺點的自卑、恐懼等）感覺可能被誇大了。通常，人們對自己缺點的感知，和其他人對這些缺點的看法是不對等的。
We tend to think showing vulnerability makes us seem weak, inadequate, and flawed—a mess. But when others see our vulnerability, they might perceive something quite different, something alluring. A recent set of studies calls this phenomenon 「the beautiful mess effect.」 It suggests that everyone should be less afraid of opening up—at least in certain cases.
我們一般會覺得，如果展示出脆弱的一面，會顯得自己弱小、不稱職、有缺陷——總之就是一團糟。但是，當別人看到我們的弱點後，他們反而可能會察覺到一些完全不同的東西，這些東西其實是非常誘人的。最近有一組研究稱這種現象為「美麗的混亂效應」。這表明，至少在某些情況下，人們可以不必那麼擔心展示出自己的缺陷。
The researchers—Anna Bruk, Sabine G. Scholl, and Herbert Bless of the University of Mannheim in Germany—found evidence for the beautiful mess effect across six studies involving hundreds of participants.
德國曼海姆大學的研究人員Anna Bruk、Sabine G. Scholl和Herbert Bless，研究了有數百名實驗參與者的六項研究後，發現了這種「美麗混亂效應」是存在的。
研究1：想像自己處於尷尬處境？
In their studies, the team asked participants to imagine themselves in a variety of vulnerable situations—such as confessing romantic feelings to your best friend, being the first to apologize to your romantic partner after a big fight, and admitting that you made a serious mistake to your team at work. When people imagined themselves in those situations, they tended to believe that showing vulnerability would make them appear weak and inadequate. But when people imagined someone else in those situations, they were more likely to describe showing vulnerability as 「desirable」 and 「good.」
在他們的研究中，研究小組讓參與者想像自己正處於各種無力時刻中——比如向你最好的朋友坦白自己的愛意，或者在和戀人大吵一架之後首先低頭認錯，或是承認你在工作中犯下了影響整個團隊的錯誤。當人們想像自己位於這種處境中時，他們會覺得這顯得他們軟弱和不稱職。但當人們想像其他人是這樣的處境時，人們反而會將這些行為看做是「可取的」和「好的」。
研究2：覺得自己唱歌難聽？
In another study, Bruk and her team invited students into the lab and broke them into two groups. Those in one group were asked to sing an improvised song in front of a jury, while those in the other were asked to serve as members of that jury. It was a bluff; in the end, no one sang or judged.
在另外一項研究中，Bruk和她的團隊邀請學生來到實驗室，並將他們分成兩組。其中一組被要求在評委團面前唱一首臨時提供的歌曲，而另一組學生就是評委團。然而，這只是嚇唬人的，因為到最後沒有人唱歌或者發表評價。
But before the participants realized that they were being had, they answered some questions about vulnerability. Those in the singing group saw their anticipated vulnerability more negatively, endorsing statements such as 「When I show my vulnerability, other people find it repellant」 and 「I should avoid showing my vulnerability.」 The judges were far more generous when they evaluated the vulnerability of the singers, saying that their singing would be a sign of 「strength」 and 「courage.」
但是在參與者意識到自己被騙之前，他們回答了一些關於脆弱性的問題。在唱歌團隊中的人對即將展示出來的弱點的看法更為消極，他們認為「我的（唱歌）缺陷會惹人厭」和「我應該避免表現出自己的缺陷」等說法。然而評委們在評價這些歌手的弱點時要大方得多，他們說，這些人的演唱是「力量」和「勇氣」的象徵。
Bruk and her team found that when we think about our own vulnerability, it"s more concrete and real, because we are so close to it. Under that magnified perspective, our imperfections are clearer. But when we think about another person"s vulnerability, it"s more distant and abstract.
Bruk和她的團隊發現，因為我們離自己的缺點太近了，所以總能更具體、更真實地看到它們。在這种放大的視角下，我們的不完美就更加清晰了。但當我們想到其他人的弱點時，它就顯得更遙遠與抽象。
Research beyond Bruk"s and Brown"s generally supports the notion that people tend to admire vulnerability in others.
除了Bruk和Brown的研究之外，其他的研究普遍支持這樣的觀點：人們傾向于欣賞他人的脆弱。
研究3：「打翻咖啡」的經典實驗
A classic example is a 1966 experiment led by the psychologist Elliot Aronson. Aronson and his colleagues had students listen to recordings of candidates interviewing to be part of a quiz-bowl team.
一個典型的例子是1966年心理學家埃利奧特·阿倫森(Elliot Aronson)所做的一項實驗。阿倫森和同事們讓參與實驗的學生們聽一段知識競答比賽的候選人面試的錄音。
Two of the candidates appeared smart by answering most of the questions right, while the other two answered only 30 percent correctly. Then, one group of students heard an eruption of noise and clanging dishes, followed by one of the smart candidates saying, 「Oh my goodness—I"ve spilled coffee all over my new suit.」 Another group of students heard the same clamor, but then heard one of the mediocre candidates saying he spilled the coffee.
其中的兩位候選人答對了大部分的問題，顯得非常聰明；而另外兩位只答對了30%。接著，學生們聽到一陣吵鬧聲和杯子的丁當聲，然後就聽到一個聰明的應試者說：「噢，天哪，我把咖啡灑在新衣服上了。」另一組學生聽到了同樣的喧鬧，但接著聽到其中一個表現平平的候選人說他把咖啡灑了。
Afterward, the students said they liked the smart candidate even more after he embarrassed himself. But the opposite was true of the mediocre candidate. The students said they liked him even less after seeing him in a vulnerable situation.
之後，學生們表示在這個聰明的候選人讓自己難堪後，他們反而更喜歡他了。但那個表現平平的候選人卻恰恰相反。學生們說，在看到他處於脆弱處境後，他們更不喜歡他了。
In psychology, this is known as the 「pratfall effect.」 Responses to someone"s vulnerability largely seem to depend on how others perceive that person beforehand. If she appears strong and capable before showing vulnerability, people are sympathetic; the vulnerability is humanizing, like that time Jennifer Lawrence tripped on her way to accept the Best Actress award at the 2013 Oscars. But if the person doesn"t seem competent, people are repelled; she really does seem like a mess, nothing beautiful about it.
在心理學上，這被稱為「摔倒效應」。人們對一個人弱點的反應，似乎很大程度上取決於對這個人的預判。如果她在表現出脆弱之前表現出堅強和能幹，人們會同情她；因為這種脆弱性是人性化的，就像詹妮弗·勞倫斯（Jennifer Lawrence）在2013年奧斯卡最佳女演員獎頒獎典禮上摔倒一樣。但如果一個人看起來不太優秀，人們就會產生排斥心理：她看起來確實一團糟，一點也不漂亮。
事情並沒有你想像地那麼糟
Whether at work or on a date, it seems safest to show vulnerability within a relationship that has some history—in which there is reciprocal sharing and the connection between two people grows in tandem with the disclosures.
無論是在工作中還是在約會中，如果這段關係有一定的年份，那麼最安全的做法似乎是適當表現出脆弱的一面——在這段關係中相互分享，兩個人之間的聯繫就隨著坦誠而逐漸增強。
When someone shares his hopes and anxieties on vellum paper, or admits to a mistake, or professes love to a friend at a café, that person is doing something risky, but the possibility of being hurt helps open the door to a more genuine, intimate interaction. Things might not work out in the person"s favor, but there"s still something rare and, indeed, beautiful about the gesture.
當一個人在牛皮紙上分享他的希望和焦慮，或者承認錯誤，或者在咖啡館裡對朋友表白時，那個人確實是在做一些冒險的事情，但他受傷的可能性，卻有助於開啟一扇更真誠、更親密的互動之門。事情也許不會朝著對那個人有利的方向發展，但這仍然是一種罕見的、美妙的姿態。
It"s a reminder of the humanity in the faces around us.
它提醒著我們，我們周圍的人都是有人性的。
本文僅作學習交流使用，不作商業用途。
由東方君翻譯自文章：
"Your Flaws Are Probably More Attractive Than You Think They Are"
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