罐子里的笑話

奧莉薇確診患了癌症。那晚，我們相擁而泣，打開罐子，一個個讀著這些年來收集的笑話。

這是譯文驛站第371篇原創編譯的外文故事

罐子里的笑話

（美國）海森·斯通 原文

朱思 編譯

奧莉薇和我有一個餅乾罐。它大約一加侖大小，是我們結婚那年的聖誕禮物。奧莉薇提議吃完餅乾後留下它裝笑話。無論是誰看到一個有趣的笑話，就把它寫到一張紙條上，折好，放進罐子里。遇到哪天情緒低落、消極或者生氣，或任何需要振奮精神的情況，我們就打開罐子，取出一張紙條，大聲地讀笑話。

度過了七年美好的婚姻生活，我們放進罐子里的積蓄遠比取出來的多。我們當然不是永遠無憂無慮的，但大多數時候，總可以找到解決問題的辦法，不需要藉助罐子里的笑話。不知不覺，我們把滿滿的罐子挪到了櫥櫃最頂層，再沒打開過。

然後，奧莉薇被診斷出了癌症。那晚，相擁而泣之後，我們打開罐子。

一個笑話不足以驅散籠罩在我們身上的憂鬱。我們又拿出另一張紙條大聲讀著。奧莉薇僅僅輕輕地點了點頭，嘴角顯現出微笑的痕迹。我又讀了一個，這次，奧莉薇笑了。那一夜，我們一個接一個地讀著這些年來收集的笑話，幾乎消耗了罐子里三分之一的積蓄。

隨後的日子由約診、化療和祈禱構成。但是這些都未奏效，奧莉薇的病越來越重了。

我眼見曾經活潑快樂的妻子日漸消瘦和蒼白。她吃不好、睡不著，唯一能夠讓她忘掉病痛的時候就是我們從罐子里取出一個笑話的時刻。奧莉薇最後虛弱的都不能夠朗讀了，所以都是我讀給她聽。我每天都給她讀一些笑話幫助她入睡，讓她能夠吃下些東西和暫時地忘記病痛。

罐子漸漸空了，我開始自己找些笑話加以補充。然而，還是趕不及它消耗的速度。

當奧莉薇被送入重症監護室時，我們都知道這意味著什麼。但是我的妻子似乎比我更加從容，我坐在她的床邊給她講笑話時，她總是微笑著，這讓我很受鼓舞。有她在我身邊，讓我感覺平靜和幸福，我多麼希望能夠一直如此呢。

一天，我把手伸進罐子，觸到了罐底。我還沒意識到裡面幾乎空了。奧莉薇那天幾乎一天都在沉睡，當她醒來的時候，她試著向我伸過手來。我握住她的手，問她需要什麼。她問我罐子里還有幾個笑話。我告訴她還有兩個。

「你現在想要聽一個嗎？」我問。

「好的，親愛的。」

我讀了一個，她笑了。我想把手伸進罐子取最後一張紙條。但是她輕輕握了握我的手，阻止了我。她說：「現在不要。」

「你想要什麼時候聽呢？」

「以後再說。」

我點點頭。

「我愛你，親愛的。「奧莉薇說。

「我也愛你，親愛的。「我親了親她的額頭，蓋上罐子，把它放在她床頭邊的桌子上。

奧莉薇微笑著睡去了。這次，她再也沒有醒來。

我想，她是知道自己的最後時刻將要到來的，但是，為什麼她不想要聽完最後一個笑話呢？

四天之後，我舉行了她的悼念儀式。親友們離去後，我在奧莉薇的棺柩前跪下，打算把罐子放進去，好讓最後一個笑話永遠陪伴著她。剎那間，我突然明白了什麼。毫不遲疑地，我打開了最後一張紙條，默默地一個人讀著。

「謝謝你，我的愛人。」她把最後一個留給了我。

A Jar of Jokes

My wife and I had a cookie jar, a gallon-sized container with a glass lid that was left over from a Christmas gift we got before we married. It was Olivia』s idea to save it for jokes long after the cookies were eaten. Whenever one of us came across a funny joke, we wrote it down on a piece of paper, folded it, and deposited the slip in the jar. If the day came when we were down, upset, angry, or otherwise needed to uplift our spirits, we opened the jar, took out one of the pieces of paper, and read the joke aloud.

After seven years of marital bliss, our deposits into the jar significantly outweighed our withdrawals. It wasn』t that we were always happy, but most of the time, we found a way to solve our problems on our own without needing to resort to our jar of jokes. Gradually, we filled the jar to the top and placed it in the cupboard for a rainy day, where it lay unused but not forgotten.

Then the doctors diagnosed Olivia with cancer. The first night we found out, after the crying and questioning why God let such a fate befall my wonderful wife, we opened the jar to make a withdrawal.

One joke wasn』t enough to crack the mantle of gloom that enclosed us. We took out another slip of paper and read it aloud. Olivia just nodded her head, the slightest hint of a smile starting to form. I read another joke, and this time, Olivia chuckled softly. One by one, we took turns reading the jokes we collected throughout the years. That night alone, we went through a third of the contents of the jar.

The ensuing days consisted of more doctor appointments, chemotherapy treatments, and prayer. None of it worked. Olivia grew sicker and sicker.

I watched my once vibrant wife stop eating and sleeping, growing pale and thin. My presence alone no longer brought a smile to her face. The only times when she forgot about the sickness and pain were when we dug into our jar of jokes. Olivia eventually became so sick that she couldn』t read, so I read to her. I told her a handful of jokes every night to help her sleep, when it was time to eat so that she would allow some food to pass through her lips, and whenever the pain became too much to bear.

The jar slowly emptied, and I found myself spending my free minutes searching for new jokes to replenish our supply. However, I couldn』t keep pace with the number of jokes that we used up each day.When they moved Olivia to the hospital, I brought the jar with her things. We both knew what was to come, but my wife accepted it better than I did. When I sat by her cot that night and read jokes to her, she laughed, but more for my benefit, I believed, than because of the humor she found from my words. I vowed to try harder, to make her days as pleasant as her condition allowed.

It was ironic that during her stay in the hospital, she found peace but I grew more solemn. I rarely left her side, even though she now spent most of her time asleep. I read jokes to her while she slept. I told myself that she could hear me and that my words helped her rest more soundly. When a smile graced her sleeping face, I credited it to my actions.

One day, I reached into the jar and felt the glass at the bottom. I hadn』t realized that it was now almost empty.

I waited until Olivia woke up to read another joke to her. I saved the next two for after the nurse changed her gown and sheets, a procedure that always displeased my wife.

Olivia slept most of the next day. I didn』t notice when she woke up until she tried to reach her hand out to me. I took her hand in mine and asked if I could do anything for her. She asked how many jokes were left in the jar, and I told her there were two. 「Do you want to hear one now?」 I asked.

「Yes, please, dear.」

I read a joke, and she smiled.

I started to reach for the last slip of paper, but she squeezed my hand to halt me. With a slight shake of her head, Olivia said, 「Not now.」

「When should I read it?」

「You』ll know.」

I closed the lid and put the jar on the table next to her bed.

She squeezed my hand again and said something I couldn』t hear. I bent my head down close to her face. 「Thank you for everything, my love,」 she said.

「I love you,」 I replied and kissed her. Olivia closed her eyes for the last time. Somehow, she knew the end was near. I wondered why she wanted to save the last joke if she wasn』t going to hear it.

Four days later, I held her memorial service. Through tears that I didn』t bother hiding, I gave my eulogy and said goodbye to Olivia. I didn』t know what I was going to do without her.

After everyone left, I knelt by Olivia』s casket. I held the jar in my hands, for I intended to bury it with her so that her soul always had one final joke to keep her happy. In the depths of my sorrow, I asked her how I could go on.

Then it came to me in an instant. I was certain this was what she wanted. Without hesitation, I took out the last joke and read it silently to myself.

「Thank you, my love.」She saved the last one for me.

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