這種疾病，已經成為了影響人類健康的第一大殺手……

撰稿：向前

翻譯：馮斯嘉

GIF/160K

（圖片來自華輿，設計/陳毅星）

今天是情人節，相親的對象發來微信，問今天有人陪我過情人節么。我說沒有，注意我說的是沒有，沒有的意思是你可以約我。她隨即說，網上聊了這麼長時間，也一直沒機會見一面。我以為她下一句會約我出來見面。沒！想！到！她居然說，我今天也沒有人陪。難道你想讓勞資主動約你么？呵呵，情商這麼低的女人活該單身。——直男癌日記

Today is Valentine s Day. The person who has a blind date with me sent me a message on WeChat. She asked if there is anyone will accompany me today. I said no. She immediately said, "Me, neither!" Is she waiting for me to ask her out? Women with such low EQ deserve to be single.

——Straight Man Cancer』s Diary

丨詞源/The Origin of the Phrase

直男，即指不具有同性戀傾向的男性，相對於「彎的」（性取向為男性）而言，本不具有太強的感情色彩。但是，在加上了一個「癌」字以後，這個詞的意思就徹底被改變了……

Straight Man refers to those heterosexual male，which is just in contrast to homosexual male. It does not have strong emotion at first, but after the word "cancer" was added, the meaning of the phrase, Straight Man Cancer, changed completely......

面對誘惑，坐懷不亂者，為直男。

一般認為，直男癌最早起源於2014年的一條豆瓣廣播，這條廣播中首次出現了「直女癌」這一次生辭彙。但奇怪的是在此之後，「直女癌」並沒有流傳開來，反倒是「直男癌」成為了互聯網上的熱門辭彙。之後，網上又出現了「直男炎」的說法，是指沒那麼嚴重的直男癌癥狀，多用於自我調侃。

Generally, Straight Man Cancer was originated from Douban website in 2014. It is the first time "Straight Woman Cancer" has appeared. However, the strange thing is that after this, "Straight Woman Cancer" has not spread, but "Straight Man Cancer" has become a popular word on the internet.

丨釋義/Interpretation

直男癌是指永遠活在自己的世界觀、價值觀、審美觀里，十分自負，時時流露出對他人的苛責、打壓以及種種的不順眼，並帶有強烈大男子主義傾向的人。

Straight Man Cancer refers to people who always use their own world view, values and aesthetic values to claim others. They are conceit, blame to others, and with a strong inclination of male chauvinistic.

如何判斷一個人是否有直男癌呢？直男癌一般具有以下五種價值觀：

· 美女都是假的：鼻子是墊的，胸是隆的，臀是做的，所有美女都是流水線生的！

· 女子無才便是德：女人就應該本本分分在家做飯生娃，外面的花花世界是屬於男人的！對於直男癌患者這句話反過來說也照樣成立——男子無德便是才。

· 聽媽媽的話：「我媽說娶了媳婦不能忘了娘。」「怎麼全都是你媽說，你爸呢？」「我爸說我媽說得對。」

· 總有刁民要害朕：我一個月工資2800，她工資2500，所以她和我在一起是不是為了我的錢？

· 熱水萬能論：肚子疼？多喝熱水。發燒了？多喝熱水。大姨媽來了？多喝熱水。哦，你說的是大姨媽來你家做客啊，那讓她多喝熱水！

How to recognize a person is a straight man cancer or not? Straight man cancer generally has the following five kinds of values:

·All beauty is cosmetic

·A woman without talent is virtue

·All listen to mom

·She wants to be with me because of money: I earn 2800 yuan per month, she only earns only 2500 yuan, so she must cast greedy eyes on my money!

·Hot water universal theory: have a stomachache? Drink more hot water. Got a fever? Drink more hot water. Have menstruation? Drink more hot water……

丨相關/Relevant Information

曾有網友做過相關統計，你聽到過的最直男癌的一句話是什麼，以下為票選最高的幾句話，排名不分先後。

·肚子疼不舒服？多喝熱水。

·你一個女孩考研/考博/出國幹嘛？

·你們女人打扮不就是給男人看的么。

·好好學做飯啊不然以後栓不住我的。

·我媽養我不容易，你順著她不行么。

Some netizens had done a survey with related statistics about which sentence stands for straight man cancer most. The highest vote just as follows:

·Got a stomachache? Drink more hot water.

·What are you girls doing for postgraduate studies/Ph. D/going abroad?

·You girls dress up just for men.

·Learn to cook well, or I will leave you some day.

·It s not easy for my mother to rise me up. You have to obey her.

中國某網站曾根據大數據推出一項趣味測試，結果顯示在參與測試的2萬多個男性用戶樣本中，暖男群體佔57.1%，位列第一；緊追其後的便是「直男癌」，佔比38.2%；男神僅佔4.7%。「直男癌」已佔四成，前景頗為堪憂。

隨著網路的發展，越來越多的「直男癌」被暴露在公眾視野下，「直男癌」患者時而直抒胸臆，時而激揚文字，但是他們都殊途同歸——他們的撩妹之路會越來越坎坷……

那麼問題來了，如果女朋友真的和你說她身體不舒服，你應該怎麼回答才顯得不那麼直男癌呢？正確答案是——

別喝熱水。

So the question is if your girlfriend says she is uncomfortable, how should you answer that seem to be not so straight man cancer? The correct answer is -

Don t drink hot water!

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